Sunday, 16 August 2009

The Diaries of Sir Robert the Violent: Volume VI

as told by Sir Robert

20 Atraie 1832

Time flies when you're having fun, they say. But what they never told you was that time also flies when you're unconscious. At any rate, after a good night's rest, memories have begun to crawl back into awareness.

The last thing I remember that has any semblance of clarity was my conversation with that warlock, Dorgray. Curious fellow, he was. And not the very best at making tea, I should say. Made me feel all dizzy and all.

The next thing I remembered was that I woke up in a dark, cold cell, bound by both my hands and feet to a rickety old chair with ropes of oily hemp. I suspect this may be the work of some nasty brigands who were obviously envious of my charming good looks. No matter, my head throbbed like a... a... thing that throbs.

It took awhile before the fuzzy curtain of my dazed state was finally lifted. Oh, how I would have gladly given anything for a nice hot bowl of broth and a warm cozy bed at that point. Curiously enough, I saw Remus preening himself, while peering rather quizzically at me. I knew it was a long shot, but I promised the rat that if he helped to undo my bonds, I would find him a nice hunk of cheese in return.

It must have worked, for when I next woke up the ropes that held me captive now lay scattered at the foot of my chair. As I made my way out of that irksome cell, the thought that troubled me the most was that my hair was in a total mess! How does one expect me to be valiant and dashing with this disheveled look?

The light of my lamp is dimming as I write. Perhaps I shall continue my recollections when I awake tomorrow.

21 Atraie 1832

The furnishings back at the inn are threadbare at best, but compared to my former prison, I felt as if I were in a luxury suite. Had my first hearty meal in days, and now my cheeks have begun to return to their former rosiness.

Stopped by the cheese shop to get the reward I had promised Remus. Much to my chagrin, that idiot shopkeep did not have a single ounce of cheese at all! The last of which he apparently sold to some guy called Monty, who needed it to feed his python. Ridiculous! Looks like I will have to look hard if I'm to pay Remus back.

After having been freed of my bonds, there was still the daunting task of escaping from the cell, which was guarded by a grumpy cyclops. He obviously didn't like very much the fact that I was not attached to the chair. What he didn't like even more was the fact that, in the next few minutes, the chair was pretty much attached to his head. I was led to conclude that while that rickety chair did not provide much comfort during my captivity, it certainly fared a whole lot better as a makeshift bludgeon.

But alas, I did not emerge from that altercation unscathed. The cyclops managed to connect a few glancing blows to my left shoulder, and had I been a tad more nimble I would have surely avoided another vicious uppercut of his. He could have near disfigured me, he could have. And this is why I eschew violence - because everyone seems to have an uncanny tendency to direct their violence at me!

22 Atraie 1832

I spent the whole day looking for her, and I am quite prepared to believe that Emeline is no longer in this town. I know she probably hates my guts by now, but she's not the type that would possibly run away. I mean, sure we don't see eye to eye on many issues, but she has always stuck with the group no matter what. And that is why lo... li... I admire her.

I just remembered something! Yesterday when I checked in, the innkeep had said, "back so soon?" I must have overlooked that query in my hunger and fatigue as a casual formality. He should have known I had been missing for days! I will ask him what he had meant by that first thing tomorrow morning.

23 Atraie 1832

Something is definitely amiss! Here is a quick recount of the conversation I had with the innkeep:

Innkeep: Well, you did leave this town a few days ago did you not?
Me: I'm quite sure that I have been here all this while, good sir.
Innkeep: Impossible. You even checked out! See? (he shows me his ledger)
Me: That... that is my name, but definitely not my handwriting. Are you sure it was me?
Innkeep: Very. And you were with those two girls when you left. I've been meaning to ask you where they are now, as a matter of fact.
Me: Wait! Two girls, you say. Did one of them wear a grey cloak?
Innkeep: Yes, she was rather strange. Aren't they supposed to be with you?
Me: *muttering* Apparently
Innkeep: Pardon?
Me: Oh, nothing. Uh... did you know where... uh... I said I had wanted to go?
Innkeep: You were heading to Velnheim were you not?
Me: So I was, so I was. This is most curious. Well thank you for your help, sir.
Innkeep: Most welcome, sir
Me: Up yours!

What's wrong with everybody these days? Can't they take even a simple compliment? Apparently the innkeep is one of such people. He really shouldn't have punched me so!

To Velnheim then! I must posthaste. Emeline could be in danger! It is imperative that I find her!

And Mazzy too. She has my bloody hairbrush!

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