Wednesday, 23 December 2009

The Diaries of Sir Robert the Violent: Volume VII

as told by Sir Robert

24 Atraie 1832

I would like to say that my trip to Velnheim was prompt, uneventful and stress-free.

But I can't!

And that is partially because I've been running into pockets of resistance every which way I go. Whenever I would pass by a village, the woman would run back into their cottages, holding their children close. And in a matter of short moments, a mob of angry villagers would storm out, hefting pitchforks in their burly arms.

"Begone, Sir Robert the Violent! For you are not welcome here!" they would say

I had begun to plead my innocence, but they would have none of it! I could see the anger in their eyes. Anger... and... I believe... fear. Whatever the case, they wanted me out of their, and I quote, 'peaceful village' as soon as possible. And considering how they had begun to throw anything they could get their hands on in my general direction, I was more than happy to oblige. Not so peaceful, if you ask me!


25 Atraie 1832

My search for Emeline remains futile. For no one was willing to lend a hand to aid me. Each village that I had ventured near all greeted me with the same mindless violence. Maybe they don't like the way my hair was done. After all, it has become more and more of a disaster with each passing day that I am bereft of my beloved hairbrush. My once-dashing countanence is now marred by this haggard, disheveled excuse of matted tangled locks. Can life get any worse?


1 Loares 1832

I must learn that whenever I end off with the words "can ... get any worse" in a previous entry, it will only be a matter of time before I find out that it most certainly can.

The day started out better than I would have hoped. My fruitless search for Emeline led me to a quaint little town. Upon arriving, I had a conversation with the townsfolk, and it went something like this:

Me: Before you say anything! May I ask if you know who I am?
Man: No, I haven't. Please stay in this town! You are welcome here!
Me: Oh thank you! Thank you most kindly! You should have heard of the travesties I've had to endure in all the other towns prior to this
Man: I have not heard of such travesties that you speak of. And I do not think you deserve such ill treatment
Me: Yes! Most certainly! I need to know if you've seen a girl in a grey cloak pass by of late.
Man: No, I haven't seen such a girl.
Me: Well, mayhap you can aid me in my search then?
Man: Of course! We shall most certainly help you!


By this point, majority of the townsfolk had begun to gather around me. I felt comforted that at long last I may have finally found the help that I very much needed...

Me: Many thanks then! Where shall we begin the search.
Man: I think you understand. We shall most certainly help you.
Me: Yes, thank you! I believe you already said that once.
Woman: And yet you seem to get it that we intend on helping you. (she had spoken up from the crowd)
Me: Well, aren't you?
Another Man: (shouting) YES WE ARE! AND WE ALSO DID NOT ALREADY SAY THAT WE WANT YOU TO STAY AS LONG AS YOU LIKE!
A Third Man: Now if you don't stay, we won't hurt you!


Something in me didn't add up, and there it was again! That look! That look of anger, hatred and fear welling up in their eyes, all this while they spoke kind and comforting words.

The next thing I could remember, I was making a mad dash for the town gates, with the angry populace hot on my heels, shouting pleasantries and assurances that they don't want to hurt me. I darted through the cobblestone roads, past the old well, over the bridge, through the barnyard, into the town square, past a sign saying "You are not welcome in the Town of Opposites", across the fields and finally through the town gates.

In my hurry to escape, I had scaled a rather tall tree. Sheltered in the shade offered by its leafy covering, I stayed hidden in the tree until the maddened frenzy had died down. It was at that point when I felt the greatest sense of relief.

That is, until I realized that I had just upset a vespiary.

1 comment:

tmeiyii said...

This post always makes me laugh. Haha!

"I was making a mad dash for the town gates, with the angry populace hot on my heels, shouting pleasantries and assurances that they don't want to hurt me."