The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Volume VI

as told by Princess Juliana

22 Atraie 1832

Ahh~ What a beautiful morning!

There he goes muttering to himself again.
We've walked since sunrise and the most AMAZING thing happened.
Yea! HE WAS NICE TO ME!

ISN'T THAT JUST...
WEIRD???

Surely, dear diary, you agree that that is the most unimaginable thing he would do, right?

Haha! all this travelling has finally gotten some sense into his head eh?

***
Hmph, looks like his niceness was short-lived.
Couldn't have expected for more.

So,
we are STILL NOT IN VELNHEIM.

Mr. Smarty-pants has gotten his bearings wrong again.
Not to mention how bad his temper is right now. His face is practically black.
Scary...

On the other hand,
this small town we've stumbled into is pretty interesting.
Hmm...

Town of Opposites.

***
Wow cool!
I can stay in Town of Opposites forever!

Okay, maybe not forever, but it's a pretty fun town. :D

Apples taste like grapes,
grapes taste like apples,
apples grow on grapevines,
grapes grown on apple trees,

and...

yea.

Ok, I figured it out. Basically, it's grapes that look like apples that grow on grapevines,
and apples that look like grapes that grow on apple trees.

AND!

The most interesting encounter I had was meeting the MEN here.
Hmm, looks like the men here have been oppressed for a long time - how they have to do jobs and not get as much pay as women. How they have to listen to what women say all the time.

It's not like the women are dictators here, just that the women here assume that they are better, stronger, wiser.

The men here wear skirts (because apparently, it's good for men to look feminine here) and women wear skirts too (just because they are women, they can wear anything they want - and skirts are apparently a symbol of power).

How weird,
but interesting... very interesting.

***
Well,
I'm off to sleep.
What a long day.

23 Atraie 1832

What a joke!
I overheard Mr. Loghead talk to one of the citizens here. Oh my, he got absolutely impatient and frustrated with her (him? her?). Talk about no sense of humour at all!

Mr. Loghead (henceforth known as Log): "Excuse me [my! how polite!], where can I find an information center to find directions to Velnheim? My friends [my friends? Mazzy is a FRIEND? that's new!] and I are headed there to visit a sick relative [sick relative? now, I thought that he would have announced his grand plan victoriously, triumphantly, UNABASHEDLY of slaying the great dragon. Hmm... has he been taking some get-smart-overnight pills?].

Feminine-looking man (henceforth known as FLM): Elvnhime?
Log: Velnheim.
FLM: No *nods head*, Elvnhime, that is not what I said.
Log: Vel-n-h-eim *looks at FLM seriously*
FLM: That is NOT what I said! I did not say Elvnhime!
Log: [this is when his face starts to turn slightly purple, not very attractive I have to say] VEL-N-H-EIM. Do I have to spell it out for you?
Log: Yes *shakes head*, I do not know what you are talking about. I will not guide you to the information center *graciously extends arm towards the heart of the city*.
Log: I'm getting very impatient now, will you, or, will you not, show, me, the way, to the, information, center? [oh dear, he's breathing pretty hard now].
FLM: NO *nods head firmly*.

Oh, I missed out this part. There was a really pretty caterpillar flying next to me and I couldn't resist catching it.

I don't know where Mr. Puffyface disappeared to though. Maybe he followed after that man(?). That poor guy... he was trying really hard to help Puffy. Oh, but I saw a very pretty looking bush full of flowers that I didn't see before that by the roadside where the man stood. Maybe they have superpowers here too! like the ones back in Here, and that pretty man left a pretty bush... for fun?

Hmm.
I'm hungry. I wonder what's for dinner.

At least Mr. Puff's decent enough to get us meals the last few days.

24 Atraie 1832

I hate to admit this,
but I'm getting quite afraid of Mr. Blackface.

There has been this trail of... pretty bushes... everywhere he's been.
That cannot be conincidence, can it?

Maybe some warlock gave him some powers when we were last in Here.

Or maybe he's some warlock in disguise...

...

Nahhhhh,
how can that be?
He's still as obnoxious as ever! Only smarter, more polite, more dignified.

Hmm...

Maybe...

Can it be?
Can it be that Mr. Puffyface...

is a...

DRAGON SLAYER IN DISGUISE?

Hahaha!
Okay, I'm spewing nonsense here now.

How can that Funnyface be anyone else but Funnyface. And how can anyone else want to be him? And I don't think any dragon slayers are... off in their heads to choose to be such a weird character.

I'm thinking too much.

I still think he's getting scary.
Maybe it's his face.
It's a shade darker! *the horror!*

But seriously, it IS darker... not tanned, but... BLACK.

25 Atraie 1832

Last day of the month!
And so, we're off travelling again.

Mr. Impatient finally found some directions I suppose.
Or it finally got through his thick head that this IS the Town of OPPOSITES and not all the citizens here are trying get a laugh out of him. Sheesh.

His face was so funny I just had a good time following him around when he asked for directions.

The funniest was when he FINALLY reached the information center, he talked to the receptionist (who was yet again, another feminine man - AFM from here on) who gave him, so far, the funniest answers.

FF: How can I get to Velnheim?
AFM: *looks at FF seriously* Stay in Town of Opposites.
FF: Velnheim is in Town of Opposites? Is it hidden underground? [I must say he looked pretty relieved that AFM was making some sense to him].
AFM: *looks at FF as if to seek a sign that FF understood* It is hidden underground. You have to stay in Town of Opposites to get to Velnheim.
FF: How do I get to this underground place?
AFM: You stay above ground! But yes, I am telling you, you have to stay in Town of Opposites to get to Velnheim.
FF: *getting impatient* I KNOW. STOP TELLING ME THAT! I need the DIRECTIONS to get there.
AFM: No, I don't understand that you need directions to get there. I am not telling you to stay in Town of Opposites to get to Velnheim. *starts to have a confused look on his face*
FF: WHAT? YOU tell ME to stay in Town of Opposites because it's underground and now you're telling me NOT TO STAY HERE?
AFM: I d-d-did not t-t-tell you t-t-to stay here, but I t-t-told you t-t-to st-t-tay h-h-h-here.
FF: Let me have your map! *snatches map out of AFM's hands*
AFM: n-n-n..............
FF: *glares*

WELL, at least we're on our way to Velnheim now.
That poor guy, he looked so crushed when we left. Crumpled actually, his face looked like it was crumpled like a piece of paper.

Off we go again!