Sunday, 26 February 2012
Wednesday, 23 December 2009
The Diaries of Sir Robert the Violent: Volume VII
as told by Sir Robert
24 Atraie 1832
I would like to say that my trip to Velnheim was prompt, uneventful and stress-free.
But I can't!
And that is partially because I've been running into pockets of resistance every which way I go. Whenever I would pass by a village, the woman would run back into their cottages, holding their children close. And in a matter of short moments, a mob of angry villagers would storm out, hefting pitchforks in their burly arms.
"Begone, Sir Robert the Violent! For you are not welcome here!" they would say
I had begun to plead my innocence, but they would have none of it! I could see the anger in their eyes. Anger... and... I believe... fear. Whatever the case, they wanted me out of their, and I quote, 'peaceful village' as soon as possible. And considering how they had begun to throw anything they could get their hands on in my general direction, I was more than happy to oblige. Not so peaceful, if you ask me!
25 Atraie 1832
My search for Emeline remains futile. For no one was willing to lend a hand to aid me. Each village that I had ventured near all greeted me with the same mindless violence. Maybe they don't like the way my hair was done. After all, it has become more and more of a disaster with each passing day that I am bereft of my beloved hairbrush. My once-dashing countanence is now marred by this haggard, disheveled excuse of matted tangled locks. Can life get any worse?
1 Loares 1832
I must learn that whenever I end off with the words "can ... get any worse" in a previous entry, it will only be a matter of time before I find out that it most certainly can.
The day started out better than I would have hoped. My fruitless search for Emeline led me to a quaint little town. Upon arriving, I had a conversation with the townsfolk, and it went something like this:
By this point, majority of the townsfolk had begun to gather around me. I felt comforted that at long last I may have finally found the help that I very much needed...
Something in me didn't add up, and there it was again! That look! That look of anger, hatred and fear welling up in their eyes, all this while they spoke kind and comforting words.
The next thing I could remember, I was making a mad dash for the town gates, with the angry populace hot on my heels, shouting pleasantries and assurances that they don't want to hurt me. I darted through the cobblestone roads, past the old well, over the bridge, through the barnyard, into the town square, past a sign saying "You are not welcome in the Town of Opposites", across the fields and finally through the town gates.
In my hurry to escape, I had scaled a rather tall tree. Sheltered in the shade offered by its leafy covering, I stayed hidden in the tree until the maddened frenzy had died down. It was at that point when I felt the greatest sense of relief.
That is, until I realized that I had just upset a vespiary.
24 Atraie 1832
I would like to say that my trip to Velnheim was prompt, uneventful and stress-free.
But I can't!
And that is partially because I've been running into pockets of resistance every which way I go. Whenever I would pass by a village, the woman would run back into their cottages, holding their children close. And in a matter of short moments, a mob of angry villagers would storm out, hefting pitchforks in their burly arms.
"Begone, Sir Robert the Violent! For you are not welcome here!" they would say
I had begun to plead my innocence, but they would have none of it! I could see the anger in their eyes. Anger... and... I believe... fear. Whatever the case, they wanted me out of their, and I quote, 'peaceful village' as soon as possible. And considering how they had begun to throw anything they could get their hands on in my general direction, I was more than happy to oblige. Not so peaceful, if you ask me!
25 Atraie 1832
My search for Emeline remains futile. For no one was willing to lend a hand to aid me. Each village that I had ventured near all greeted me with the same mindless violence. Maybe they don't like the way my hair was done. After all, it has become more and more of a disaster with each passing day that I am bereft of my beloved hairbrush. My once-dashing countanence is now marred by this haggard, disheveled excuse of matted tangled locks. Can life get any worse?
1 Loares 1832
I must learn that whenever I end off with the words "can ... get any worse" in a previous entry, it will only be a matter of time before I find out that it most certainly can.
The day started out better than I would have hoped. My fruitless search for Emeline led me to a quaint little town. Upon arriving, I had a conversation with the townsfolk, and it went something like this:
Me: Before you say anything! May I ask if you know who I am?
Man: No, I haven't. Please stay in this town! You are welcome here!
Me: Oh thank you! Thank you most kindly! You should have heard of the travesties I've had to endure in all the other towns prior to this
Man: I have not heard of such travesties that you speak of. And I do not think you deserve such ill treatment
Me: Yes! Most certainly! I need to know if you've seen a girl in a grey cloak pass by of late.
Man: No, I haven't seen such a girl.
Me: Well, mayhap you can aid me in my search then?
Man: Of course! We shall most certainly help you!
By this point, majority of the townsfolk had begun to gather around me. I felt comforted that at long last I may have finally found the help that I very much needed...
Me: Many thanks then! Where shall we begin the search.
Man: I think you understand. We shall most certainly help you.
Me: Yes, thank you! I believe you already said that once.
Woman: And yet you seem to get it that we intend on helping you. (she had spoken up from the crowd)
Me: Well, aren't you?
Another Man: (shouting) YES WE ARE! AND WE ALSO DID NOT ALREADY SAY THAT WE WANT YOU TO STAY AS LONG AS YOU LIKE!
A Third Man: Now if you don't stay, we won't hurt you!
Something in me didn't add up, and there it was again! That look! That look of anger, hatred and fear welling up in their eyes, all this while they spoke kind and comforting words.
The next thing I could remember, I was making a mad dash for the town gates, with the angry populace hot on my heels, shouting pleasantries and assurances that they don't want to hurt me. I darted through the cobblestone roads, past the old well, over the bridge, through the barnyard, into the town square, past a sign saying "You are not welcome in the Town of Opposites", across the fields and finally through the town gates.
In my hurry to escape, I had scaled a rather tall tree. Sheltered in the shade offered by its leafy covering, I stayed hidden in the tree until the maddened frenzy had died down. It was at that point when I felt the greatest sense of relief.
That is, until I realized that I had just upset a vespiary.
Thursday, 17 December 2009
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Volume VIII
as told by Princess Juliana
4 Loares 1832
So,
the parakeet talks.
I was almost going to catch it for lunch too. Looked like a tasty lunch. Mmm.
Well, I was hungry! and it's unheard of to let a princess go without her breakfast! That Sir Chunky Legs sure is trouble. Running off just like that!
Anyway, anyway - focus!
What are we to do with Sir Chunky Legs' mysterious disappearance?
Ahhhhh! Bother! Where has he gone off to?!
That silly parakeet! I wonder if it's telling tall tales. Bother bother. I couldn't find our tent either. Just my bag - yes! now I have to carry it myself. Bother. And Mazzy's stuff too.
That silly old piece of junk, gone off to Velnheim on his own?! Leaving me here with Mazzy - gone off with all the money!
Ok ok, Jules, calm down. There must be a way out of this mess.
Bother.
Alright, I will find Velnheim with Mazzy - without the help of that ignorant fool, silly gasbag, thing! Huh! Discarding us like an old shoe. How can he leave a princess, the king's favourite too! to fend for herself! He obviously doesn't want to live.
Ok, concentrate. The parakeet has given you some useful information. Don't mind that ugly )!#@()@( ahhhhhhhhhhh. Ok. Calm. Down.
Velnheim is not far from here. At least not according to the parakeet. Alright, BOTHER, IT IS FAR FROM HERE. 70km on foot. Bother bother. But no matter - we will eventually reach Velnheim - and find that ... argh! ... for my money! and tent! and the donkeys I just bought yesterday to save us the trouble of walking! and that monstrous leech even took my favourite socks! Why on earth does he want my socks?!
What's wrong with him these days? He used to be only mildly irritating - annoying but still amusing. Now he is just like an oversized acne - ugly, full of dirty, horrible pus, and he always looks like he is going to burst at any time.
***
Ok.
He didn't take my money, or donkeys, or tent, or my favourite socks. It was with Mazzy.
Anyway, the parakeet drew me a map. Kind, wonderful, beautiful parakeet. I should have known that parakeets spoke like humans here - anything could happen in the Town of Opposites! But that aside, hmm... the journey looks pretty straightforward to Velnheim. I do not know how on earth that stinky knight couldn't find his way to Velnheim. He is really bad at reading maps... though he was pretty good at the start of the journey - but then, he temper got worse and worse...
Anyway, on to Velnheim! No use thinking of that silly knight and his stinky ways. Come on Jules, you can put to use all those years of learning at the best school in the kingdom now.
Hmm. Now that I think of it... why did that parakeet help me? Why didn't he help Sir Irresponsible? It just flew to me and started talking to me. I thought I was having illusions. But then it started telling me how this town operated and how this town was hit by a hurricane years ago - and that changed everything. The hurricane basically blew everything topsy-turvy. Even how it blew humans into animals. Ooooh. No wonder there were so many talking animals at the market I went to yesterday!
Oh, and Mazzy seems perfectly fine after Sir Bonky's disappearance. She seems much better too - less worry lines on her forehead. She really should stop frowning. Frowns are never in fashion.
4 Loares 1832
So,
the parakeet talks.
I was almost going to catch it for lunch too. Looked like a tasty lunch. Mmm.
Well, I was hungry! and it's unheard of to let a princess go without her breakfast! That Sir Chunky Legs sure is trouble. Running off just like that!
Anyway, anyway - focus!
What are we to do with Sir Chunky Legs' mysterious disappearance?
Ahhhhh! Bother! Where has he gone off to?!
That silly parakeet! I wonder if it's telling tall tales. Bother bother. I couldn't find our tent either. Just my bag - yes! now I have to carry it myself. Bother. And Mazzy's stuff too.
That silly old piece of junk, gone off to Velnheim on his own?! Leaving me here with Mazzy - gone off with all the money!
Ok ok, Jules, calm down. There must be a way out of this mess.
Bother.
Alright, I will find Velnheim with Mazzy - without the help of that ignorant fool, silly gasbag, thing! Huh! Discarding us like an old shoe. How can he leave a princess, the king's favourite too! to fend for herself! He obviously doesn't want to live.
Ok, concentrate. The parakeet has given you some useful information. Don't mind that ugly )!#@()@( ahhhhhhhhhhh. Ok. Calm. Down.
Velnheim is not far from here. At least not according to the parakeet. Alright, BOTHER, IT IS FAR FROM HERE. 70km on foot. Bother bother. But no matter - we will eventually reach Velnheim - and find that ... argh! ... for my money! and tent! and the donkeys I just bought yesterday to save us the trouble of walking! and that monstrous leech even took my favourite socks! Why on earth does he want my socks?!
What's wrong with him these days? He used to be only mildly irritating - annoying but still amusing. Now he is just like an oversized acne - ugly, full of dirty, horrible pus, and he always looks like he is going to burst at any time.
***
Ok.
He didn't take my money, or donkeys, or tent, or my favourite socks. It was with Mazzy.
Anyway, the parakeet drew me a map. Kind, wonderful, beautiful parakeet. I should have known that parakeets spoke like humans here - anything could happen in the Town of Opposites! But that aside, hmm... the journey looks pretty straightforward to Velnheim. I do not know how on earth that stinky knight couldn't find his way to Velnheim. He is really bad at reading maps... though he was pretty good at the start of the journey - but then, he temper got worse and worse...
Anyway, on to Velnheim! No use thinking of that silly knight and his stinky ways. Come on Jules, you can put to use all those years of learning at the best school in the kingdom now.
Hmm. Now that I think of it... why did that parakeet help me? Why didn't he help Sir Irresponsible? It just flew to me and started talking to me. I thought I was having illusions. But then it started telling me how this town operated and how this town was hit by a hurricane years ago - and that changed everything. The hurricane basically blew everything topsy-turvy. Even how it blew humans into animals. Ooooh. No wonder there were so many talking animals at the market I went to yesterday!
Oh, and Mazzy seems perfectly fine after Sir Bonky's disappearance. She seems much better too - less worry lines on her forehead. She really should stop frowning. Frowns are never in fashion.
Sunday, 16 August 2009
The Diaries of Sir Robert the Violent: Volume VI
as told by Sir Robert
20 Atraie 1832
Time flies when you're having fun, they say. But what they never told you was that time also flies when you're unconscious. At any rate, after a good night's rest, memories have begun to crawl back into awareness.
The last thing I remember that has any semblance of clarity was my conversation with that warlock, Dorgray. Curious fellow, he was. And not the very best at making tea, I should say. Made me feel all dizzy and all.
The next thing I remembered was that I woke up in a dark, cold cell, bound by both my hands and feet to a rickety old chair with ropes of oily hemp. I suspect this may be the work of some nasty brigands who were obviously envious of my charming good looks. No matter, my head throbbed like a... a... thing that throbs.
It took awhile before the fuzzy curtain of my dazed state was finally lifted. Oh, how I would have gladly given anything for a nice hot bowl of broth and a warm cozy bed at that point. Curiously enough, I saw Remus preening himself, while peering rather quizzically at me. I knew it was a long shot, but I promised the rat that if he helped to undo my bonds, I would find him a nice hunk of cheese in return.
It must have worked, for when I next woke up the ropes that held me captive now lay scattered at the foot of my chair. As I made my way out of that irksome cell, the thought that troubled me the most was that my hair was in a total mess! How does one expect me to be valiant and dashing with this disheveled look?
The light of my lamp is dimming as I write. Perhaps I shall continue my recollections when I awake tomorrow.
21 Atraie 1832
The furnishings back at the inn are threadbare at best, but compared to my former prison, I felt as if I were in a luxury suite. Had my first hearty meal in days, and now my cheeks have begun to return to their former rosiness.
Stopped by the cheese shop to get the reward I had promised Remus. Much to my chagrin, that idiot shopkeep did not have a single ounce of cheese at all! The last of which he apparently sold to some guy called Monty, who needed it to feed his python. Ridiculous! Looks like I will have to look hard if I'm to pay Remus back.
After having been freed of my bonds, there was still the daunting task of escaping from the cell, which was guarded by a grumpy cyclops. He obviously didn't like very much the fact that I was not attached to the chair. What he didn't like even more was the fact that, in the next few minutes, the chair was pretty much attached to his head. I was led to conclude that while that rickety chair did not provide much comfort during my captivity, it certainly fared a whole lot better as a makeshift bludgeon.
But alas, I did not emerge from that altercation unscathed. The cyclops managed to connect a few glancing blows to my left shoulder, and had I been a tad more nimble I would have surely avoided another vicious uppercut of his. He could have near disfigured me, he could have. And this is why I eschew violence - because everyone seems to have an uncanny tendency to direct their violence at me!
22 Atraie 1832
I spent the whole day looking for her, and I am quite prepared to believe that Emeline is no longer in this town. I know she probably hates my guts by now, but she's not the type that would possibly run away. I mean, sure we don't see eye to eye on many issues, but she has always stuck with the group no matter what. And that is why lo... li... I admire her.
I just remembered something! Yesterday when I checked in, the innkeep had said, "back so soon?" I must have overlooked that query in my hunger and fatigue as a casual formality. He should have known I had been missing for days! I will ask him what he had meant by that first thing tomorrow morning.
23 Atraie 1832
Something is definitely amiss! Here is a quick recount of the conversation I had with the innkeep:
What's wrong with everybody these days? Can't they take even a simple compliment? Apparently the innkeep is one of such people. He really shouldn't have punched me so!
To Velnheim then! I must posthaste. Emeline could be in danger! It is imperative that I find her!
And Mazzy too. She has my bloody hairbrush!
20 Atraie 1832
Time flies when you're having fun, they say. But what they never told you was that time also flies when you're unconscious. At any rate, after a good night's rest, memories have begun to crawl back into awareness.
The last thing I remember that has any semblance of clarity was my conversation with that warlock, Dorgray. Curious fellow, he was. And not the very best at making tea, I should say. Made me feel all dizzy and all.
The next thing I remembered was that I woke up in a dark, cold cell, bound by both my hands and feet to a rickety old chair with ropes of oily hemp. I suspect this may be the work of some nasty brigands who were obviously envious of my charming good looks. No matter, my head throbbed like a... a... thing that throbs.
It took awhile before the fuzzy curtain of my dazed state was finally lifted. Oh, how I would have gladly given anything for a nice hot bowl of broth and a warm cozy bed at that point. Curiously enough, I saw Remus preening himself, while peering rather quizzically at me. I knew it was a long shot, but I promised the rat that if he helped to undo my bonds, I would find him a nice hunk of cheese in return.
It must have worked, for when I next woke up the ropes that held me captive now lay scattered at the foot of my chair. As I made my way out of that irksome cell, the thought that troubled me the most was that my hair was in a total mess! How does one expect me to be valiant and dashing with this disheveled look?
The light of my lamp is dimming as I write. Perhaps I shall continue my recollections when I awake tomorrow.
21 Atraie 1832
The furnishings back at the inn are threadbare at best, but compared to my former prison, I felt as if I were in a luxury suite. Had my first hearty meal in days, and now my cheeks have begun to return to their former rosiness.
Stopped by the cheese shop to get the reward I had promised Remus. Much to my chagrin, that idiot shopkeep did not have a single ounce of cheese at all! The last of which he apparently sold to some guy called Monty, who needed it to feed his python. Ridiculous! Looks like I will have to look hard if I'm to pay Remus back.
After having been freed of my bonds, there was still the daunting task of escaping from the cell, which was guarded by a grumpy cyclops. He obviously didn't like very much the fact that I was not attached to the chair. What he didn't like even more was the fact that, in the next few minutes, the chair was pretty much attached to his head. I was led to conclude that while that rickety chair did not provide much comfort during my captivity, it certainly fared a whole lot better as a makeshift bludgeon.
But alas, I did not emerge from that altercation unscathed. The cyclops managed to connect a few glancing blows to my left shoulder, and had I been a tad more nimble I would have surely avoided another vicious uppercut of his. He could have near disfigured me, he could have. And this is why I eschew violence - because everyone seems to have an uncanny tendency to direct their violence at me!
22 Atraie 1832
I spent the whole day looking for her, and I am quite prepared to believe that Emeline is no longer in this town. I know she probably hates my guts by now, but she's not the type that would possibly run away. I mean, sure we don't see eye to eye on many issues, but she has always stuck with the group no matter what. And that is why lo... li... I admire her.
I just remembered something! Yesterday when I checked in, the innkeep had said, "back so soon?" I must have overlooked that query in my hunger and fatigue as a casual formality. He should have known I had been missing for days! I will ask him what he had meant by that first thing tomorrow morning.
23 Atraie 1832
Something is definitely amiss! Here is a quick recount of the conversation I had with the innkeep:
Innkeep: Well, you did leave this town a few days ago did you not?
Me: I'm quite sure that I have been here all this while, good sir.
Innkeep: Impossible. You even checked out! See? (he shows me his ledger)
Me: That... that is my name, but definitely not my handwriting. Are you sure it was me?
Innkeep: Very. And you were with those two girls when you left. I've been meaning to ask you where they are now, as a matter of fact.
Me: Wait! Two girls, you say. Did one of them wear a grey cloak?
Innkeep: Yes, she was rather strange. Aren't they supposed to be with you?
Me: *muttering* Apparently
Innkeep: Pardon?
Me: Oh, nothing. Uh... did you know where... uh... I said I had wanted to go?
Innkeep: You were heading to Velnheim were you not?
Me: So I was, so I was. This is most curious. Well thank you for your help, sir.
Innkeep: Most welcome, sir
Me: Up yours!
What's wrong with everybody these days? Can't they take even a simple compliment? Apparently the innkeep is one of such people. He really shouldn't have punched me so!
To Velnheim then! I must posthaste. Emeline could be in danger! It is imperative that I find her!
And Mazzy too. She has my bloody hairbrush!
Friday, 31 July 2009
The Diaries of Sir Robert the Violent: Volume V
as told by Sir Robert
?? Atraie 1832
This... cannot be... woke up... splitting headache...
Can't think straight... will write again tomorrow when I have the strength.
Everyone staring at me today... as if I were some stricken beast... can't they see I'm injured? They just have no em... what's that word again... em... em-pa... em...
EMELINE!!! OH NO! WHERE'S EMELINE!?!?!
Ugh... so tired... sleep now... worry about that tomorr
?? Atraie 1832
This... cannot be... woke up... splitting headache...
Can't think straight... will write again tomorrow when I have the strength.
Everyone staring at me today... as if I were some stricken beast... can't they see I'm injured? They just have no em... what's that word again... em... em-pa... em...
EMELINE!!! OH NO! WHERE'S EMELINE!?!?!
Ugh... so tired... sleep now... worry about that tomorr
Wednesday, 22 July 2009
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Volume VII
as told by Princess Juliana
1 Loares 1832
Time Flies!
How I hate Time Flies. Annoying buggers. Kill one and suddenly two minutes are gone. Ticking non-stop into our ears. I'm guessing they've not seen flesh and blood for at least 10 years. Mr. Unhelpful is killing them by the dozen. We're already losing light as it is, now it's almost total darkness. Almost maniacal I would say, the way he's killing the flies. 10 in one swoop... there goes 20 minutes.
Oh! I see some lights flickering in the distance. I hope we've finally reached Velnheim. Traveling with Mr. Grumpy's been no fun at all.
2 Loares 1832
Wow, I love how my room is brightened by the sun. Almost magical.
Oh wait, it is magic. This familiar golden dust. I've seen it somewhere. Where have I seen it? Think think think.
OH!
No...
Think, come on, think.
Ah, I give up. Why should I bother anyway?
I'm in a good mood and that is all that matters...
for now.
I suppose we're going to look for the hidden library today. Isaac Angryfirst's library.
Isaac Isaac... why did you have to hide your library?
***
Thunderbolts.
Mr. Jellybeans is in an absolutely stinky mood.
I didn't think he had such a mean streak in him. I was wrong. I could practically see the ends of his hair frizzle from his wrath. Pushing aside a girl who happened to be standing where she was, perfectly fine, but she apparently was "hogging up the whole road with your stupid pigtails and your ugly eyes!". I can't believe he roared that in front of everybody. It was weird no one seemed shocked though, but surprised, as if she suddenly jumped up and pulled off a feat of shooting into air suddenly and falling so realistically. Some even clapped. What a town!
I still can't believe what he did. All because he couldn't find his library. Big deal. It's not like we don't have time. Oh wait, yes. He must have realised that he killed too many Time Flies. If it wasn't for that maniacal look in his eyes, (I sadly have to admit that I was scared) I would have confronted him. Why, oh, why did I choose to come on this silly "adventure"? Hah. Adventure. What have I gotten myself into?
3 Loares 1832
Oh my, Mazzy scared me out of my skin today. I almost forgot that she was on the journey with us. She has been so quiet the past few days. I do not know what's gotten into her. I've been trying to talk to her but she seems moodier and moodier each time I try to talk about Sir Crazy. In fact, she seems to literally fade each time we talk about him. Oh dear. What on earth is happening?!
Sir Crazy's definitely becoming more than an I Soar (eye sore, get it? Haha!). Ok, that was lame, even my diary twitched when I wrote that. Hah. Aw, come on diary, it's the month of bad seplnlig!
Anyhow, I must look for a doctor to fix Mazzy's condition, disease... whatever it is, it is worrying. I too, I have to admit, am worried for Robert. He's very unlike himself... Maybe I should try harder in helping him look for the library. I think the parakeet on the nearby apple tree knows something. It's been blinking a million times per second at me since yesterday.
1 Loares 1832
Time Flies!
How I hate Time Flies. Annoying buggers. Kill one and suddenly two minutes are gone. Ticking non-stop into our ears. I'm guessing they've not seen flesh and blood for at least 10 years. Mr. Unhelpful is killing them by the dozen. We're already losing light as it is, now it's almost total darkness. Almost maniacal I would say, the way he's killing the flies. 10 in one swoop... there goes 20 minutes.
Oh! I see some lights flickering in the distance. I hope we've finally reached Velnheim. Traveling with Mr. Grumpy's been no fun at all.
2 Loares 1832
Wow, I love how my room is brightened by the sun. Almost magical.
Oh wait, it is magic. This familiar golden dust. I've seen it somewhere. Where have I seen it? Think think think.
OH!
No...
Think, come on, think.
Ah, I give up. Why should I bother anyway?
I'm in a good mood and that is all that matters...
for now.
I suppose we're going to look for the hidden library today. Isaac Angryfirst's library.
Isaac Isaac... why did you have to hide your library?
***
Thunderbolts.
Mr. Jellybeans is in an absolutely stinky mood.
I didn't think he had such a mean streak in him. I was wrong. I could practically see the ends of his hair frizzle from his wrath. Pushing aside a girl who happened to be standing where she was, perfectly fine, but she apparently was "hogging up the whole road with your stupid pigtails and your ugly eyes!". I can't believe he roared that in front of everybody. It was weird no one seemed shocked though, but surprised, as if she suddenly jumped up and pulled off a feat of shooting into air suddenly and falling so realistically. Some even clapped. What a town!
I still can't believe what he did. All because he couldn't find his library. Big deal. It's not like we don't have time. Oh wait, yes. He must have realised that he killed too many Time Flies. If it wasn't for that maniacal look in his eyes, (I sadly have to admit that I was scared) I would have confronted him. Why, oh, why did I choose to come on this silly "adventure"? Hah. Adventure. What have I gotten myself into?
3 Loares 1832
Oh my, Mazzy scared me out of my skin today. I almost forgot that she was on the journey with us. She has been so quiet the past few days. I do not know what's gotten into her. I've been trying to talk to her but she seems moodier and moodier each time I try to talk about Sir Crazy. In fact, she seems to literally fade each time we talk about him. Oh dear. What on earth is happening?!
Sir Crazy's definitely becoming more than an I Soar (eye sore, get it? Haha!). Ok, that was lame, even my diary twitched when I wrote that. Hah. Aw, come on diary, it's the month of bad seplnlig!
Anyhow, I must look for a doctor to fix Mazzy's condition, disease... whatever it is, it is worrying. I too, I have to admit, am worried for Robert. He's very unlike himself... Maybe I should try harder in helping him look for the library. I think the parakeet on the nearby apple tree knows something. It's been blinking a million times per second at me since yesterday.
Friday, 26 December 2008
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Volume VI
as told by Princess Juliana
22 Atraie 1832
Ahh~ What a beautiful morning!
There he goes muttering to himself again.
We've walked since sunrise and the most AMAZING thing happened.
Yea! HE WAS NICE TO ME!
ISN'T THAT JUST...
WEIRD???
Surely, dear diary, you agree that that is the most unimaginable thing he would do, right?
Haha! all this travelling has finally gotten some sense into his head eh?
***
Hmph, looks like his niceness was short-lived.
Couldn't have expected for more.
So,
we are STILL NOT IN VELNHEIM.
Mr. Smarty-pants has gotten his bearings wrong again.
Not to mention how bad his temper is right now. His face is practically black.
Scary...
On the other hand,
this small town we've stumbled into is pretty interesting.
Hmm...
Town of Opposites.
***
Wow cool!
I can stay in Town of Opposites forever!
Okay, maybe not forever, but it's a pretty fun town. :D
Apples taste like grapes,
grapes taste like apples,
apples grow on grapevines,
grapes grown on apple trees,
and...
yea.
Ok, I figured it out. Basically, it's grapes that look like apples that grow on grapevines,
and apples that look like grapes that grow on apple trees.
AND!
The most interesting encounter I had was meeting the MEN here.
Hmm, looks like the men here have been oppressed for a long time - how they have to do jobs and not get as much pay as women. How they have to listen to what women say all the time.
It's not like the women are dictators here, just that the women here assume that they are better, stronger, wiser.
The men here wear skirts (because apparently, it's good for men to look feminine here) and women wear skirts too (just because they are women, they can wear anything they want - and skirts are apparently a symbol of power).
How weird,
but interesting... very interesting.
***
Well,
I'm off to sleep.
What a long day.
23 Atraie 1832
What a joke!
I overheard Mr. Loghead talk to one of the citizens here. Oh my, he got absolutely impatient and frustrated with her (him? her?). Talk about no sense of humour at all!
Mr. Loghead (henceforth known as Log): "Excuse me [my! how polite!], where can I find an information center to find directions to Velnheim? My friends [my friends? Mazzy is a FRIEND? that's new!] and I are headed there to visit a sick relative [sick relative? now, I thought that he would have announced his grand plan victoriously, triumphantly, UNABASHEDLY of slaying the great dragon. Hmm... has he been taking some get-smart-overnight pills?].
Feminine-looking man (henceforth known as FLM): Elvnhime?
Log: Velnheim.
FLM: No *nods head*, Elvnhime, that is not what I said.
Log: Vel-n-h-eim *looks at FLM seriously*
FLM: That is NOT what I said! I did not say Elvnhime!
Log: [this is when his face starts to turn slightly purple, not very attractive I have to say] VEL-N-H-EIM. Do I have to spell it out for you?
Log: Yes *shakes head*, I do not know what you are talking about. I will not guide you to the information center *graciously extends arm towards the heart of the city*.
Log: I'm getting very impatient now, will you, or, will you not, show, me, the way, to the, information, center? [oh dear, he's breathing pretty hard now].
FLM: NO *nods head firmly*.
Oh, I missed out this part. There was a really pretty caterpillar flying next to me and I couldn't resist catching it.
I don't know where Mr. Puffyface disappeared to though. Maybe he followed after that man(?). That poor guy... he was trying really hard to help Puffy. Oh, but I saw a very pretty looking bush full of flowers that I didn't see before that by the roadside where the man stood. Maybe they have superpowers here too! like the ones back in Here, and that pretty man left a pretty bush... for fun?
Hmm.
I'm hungry. I wonder what's for dinner.
At least Mr. Puff's decent enough to get us meals the last few days.
24 Atraie 1832
I hate to admit this,
but I'm getting quite afraid of Mr. Blackface.
There has been this trail of... pretty bushes... everywhere he's been.
That cannot be conincidence, can it?
Maybe some warlock gave him some powers when we were last in Here.
Or maybe he's some warlock in disguise...
...
Nahhhhh,
how can that be?
He's still as obnoxious as ever! Only smarter, more polite, more dignified.
Hmm...
Maybe...
Can it be?
Can it be that Mr. Puffyface...
is a...
DRAGON SLAYER IN DISGUISE?
Hahaha!
Okay, I'm spewing nonsense here now.
How can that Funnyface be anyone else but Funnyface. And how can anyone else want to be him? And I don't think any dragon slayers are... off in their heads to choose to be such a weird character.
I'm thinking too much.
I still think he's getting scary.
Maybe it's his face.
It's a shade darker! *the horror!*
But seriously, it IS darker... not tanned, but... BLACK.
25 Atraie 1832
Last day of the month!
And so, we're off travelling again.
Mr. Impatient finally found some directions I suppose.
Or it finally got through his thick head that this IS the Town of OPPOSITES and not all the citizens here are trying get a laugh out of him. Sheesh.
His face was so funny I just had a good time following him around when he asked for directions.
The funniest was when he FINALLY reached the information center, he talked to the receptionist (who was yet again, another feminine man - AFM from here on) who gave him, so far, the funniest answers.
FF: How can I get to Velnheim?
AFM: *looks at FF seriously* Stay in Town of Opposites.
FF: Velnheim is in Town of Opposites? Is it hidden underground? [I must say he looked pretty relieved that AFM was making some sense to him].
AFM: *looks at FF as if to seek a sign that FF understood* It is hidden underground. You have to stay in Town of Opposites to get to Velnheim.
FF: How do I get to this underground place?
AFM: You stay above ground! But yes, I am telling you, you have to stay in Town of Opposites to get to Velnheim.
FF: *getting impatient* I KNOW. STOP TELLING ME THAT! I need the DIRECTIONS to get there.
AFM: No, I don't understand that you need directions to get there. I am not telling you to stay in Town of Opposites to get to Velnheim. *starts to have a confused look on his face*
FF: WHAT? YOU tell ME to stay in Town of Opposites because it's underground and now you're telling me NOT TO STAY HERE?
AFM: I d-d-did not t-t-tell you t-t-to stay here, but I t-t-told you t-t-to st-t-tay h-h-h-here.
FF: Let me have your map! *snatches map out of AFM's hands*
AFM: n-n-n..............
FF: *glares*
WELL, at least we're on our way to Velnheim now.
That poor guy, he looked so crushed when we left. Crumpled actually, his face looked like it was crumpled like a piece of paper.
Off we go again!
22 Atraie 1832
Ahh~ What a beautiful morning!
There he goes muttering to himself again.
We've walked since sunrise and the most AMAZING thing happened.
Yea! HE WAS NICE TO ME!
ISN'T THAT JUST...
WEIRD???
Surely, dear diary, you agree that that is the most unimaginable thing he would do, right?
Haha! all this travelling has finally gotten some sense into his head eh?
***
Hmph, looks like his niceness was short-lived.
Couldn't have expected for more.
So,
we are STILL NOT IN VELNHEIM.
Mr. Smarty-pants has gotten his bearings wrong again.
Not to mention how bad his temper is right now. His face is practically black.
Scary...
On the other hand,
this small town we've stumbled into is pretty interesting.
Hmm...
Town of Opposites.
***
Wow cool!
I can stay in Town of Opposites forever!
Okay, maybe not forever, but it's a pretty fun town. :D
Apples taste like grapes,
grapes taste like apples,
apples grow on grapevines,
grapes grown on apple trees,
and...
yea.
Ok, I figured it out. Basically, it's grapes that look like apples that grow on grapevines,
and apples that look like grapes that grow on apple trees.
AND!
The most interesting encounter I had was meeting the MEN here.
Hmm, looks like the men here have been oppressed for a long time - how they have to do jobs and not get as much pay as women. How they have to listen to what women say all the time.
It's not like the women are dictators here, just that the women here assume that they are better, stronger, wiser.
The men here wear skirts (because apparently, it's good for men to look feminine here) and women wear skirts too (just because they are women, they can wear anything they want - and skirts are apparently a symbol of power).
How weird,
but interesting... very interesting.
***
Well,
I'm off to sleep.
What a long day.
23 Atraie 1832
What a joke!
I overheard Mr. Loghead talk to one of the citizens here. Oh my, he got absolutely impatient and frustrated with her (him? her?). Talk about no sense of humour at all!
Mr. Loghead (henceforth known as Log): "Excuse me [my! how polite!], where can I find an information center to find directions to Velnheim? My friends [my friends? Mazzy is a FRIEND? that's new!] and I are headed there to visit a sick relative [sick relative? now, I thought that he would have announced his grand plan victoriously, triumphantly, UNABASHEDLY of slaying the great dragon. Hmm... has he been taking some get-smart-overnight pills?].
Feminine-looking man (henceforth known as FLM): Elvnhime?
Log: Velnheim.
FLM: No *nods head*, Elvnhime, that is not what I said.
Log: Vel-n-h-eim *looks at FLM seriously*
FLM: That is NOT what I said! I did not say Elvnhime!
Log: [this is when his face starts to turn slightly purple, not very attractive I have to say] VEL-N-H-EIM. Do I have to spell it out for you?
Log: Yes *shakes head*, I do not know what you are talking about. I will not guide you to the information center *graciously extends arm towards the heart of the city*.
Log: I'm getting very impatient now, will you, or, will you not, show, me, the way, to the, information, center? [oh dear, he's breathing pretty hard now].
FLM: NO *nods head firmly*.
Oh, I missed out this part. There was a really pretty caterpillar flying next to me and I couldn't resist catching it.
I don't know where Mr. Puffyface disappeared to though. Maybe he followed after that man(?). That poor guy... he was trying really hard to help Puffy. Oh, but I saw a very pretty looking bush full of flowers that I didn't see before that by the roadside where the man stood. Maybe they have superpowers here too! like the ones back in Here, and that pretty man left a pretty bush... for fun?
Hmm.
I'm hungry. I wonder what's for dinner.
At least Mr. Puff's decent enough to get us meals the last few days.
24 Atraie 1832
I hate to admit this,
but I'm getting quite afraid of Mr. Blackface.
There has been this trail of... pretty bushes... everywhere he's been.
That cannot be conincidence, can it?
Maybe some warlock gave him some powers when we were last in Here.
Or maybe he's some warlock in disguise...
...
Nahhhhh,
how can that be?
He's still as obnoxious as ever! Only smarter, more polite, more dignified.
Hmm...
Maybe...
Can it be?
Can it be that Mr. Puffyface...
is a...
DRAGON SLAYER IN DISGUISE?
Hahaha!
Okay, I'm spewing nonsense here now.
How can that Funnyface be anyone else but Funnyface. And how can anyone else want to be him? And I don't think any dragon slayers are... off in their heads to choose to be such a weird character.
I'm thinking too much.
I still think he's getting scary.
Maybe it's his face.
It's a shade darker! *the horror!*
But seriously, it IS darker... not tanned, but... BLACK.
25 Atraie 1832
Last day of the month!
And so, we're off travelling again.
Mr. Impatient finally found some directions I suppose.
Or it finally got through his thick head that this IS the Town of OPPOSITES and not all the citizens here are trying get a laugh out of him. Sheesh.
His face was so funny I just had a good time following him around when he asked for directions.
The funniest was when he FINALLY reached the information center, he talked to the receptionist (who was yet again, another feminine man - AFM from here on) who gave him, so far, the funniest answers.
FF: How can I get to Velnheim?
AFM: *looks at FF seriously* Stay in Town of Opposites.
FF: Velnheim is in Town of Opposites? Is it hidden underground? [I must say he looked pretty relieved that AFM was making some sense to him].
AFM: *looks at FF as if to seek a sign that FF understood* It is hidden underground. You have to stay in Town of Opposites to get to Velnheim.
FF: How do I get to this underground place?
AFM: You stay above ground! But yes, I am telling you, you have to stay in Town of Opposites to get to Velnheim.
FF: *getting impatient* I KNOW. STOP TELLING ME THAT! I need the DIRECTIONS to get there.
AFM: No, I don't understand that you need directions to get there. I am not telling you to stay in Town of Opposites to get to Velnheim. *starts to have a confused look on his face*
FF: WHAT? YOU tell ME to stay in Town of Opposites because it's underground and now you're telling me NOT TO STAY HERE?
AFM: I d-d-did not t-t-tell you t-t-to stay here, but I t-t-told you t-t-to st-t-tay h-h-h-here.
FF: Let me have your map! *snatches map out of AFM's hands*
AFM: n-n-n..............
FF: *glares*
WELL, at least we're on our way to Velnheim now.
That poor guy, he looked so crushed when we left. Crumpled actually, his face looked like it was crumpled like a piece of paper.
Off we go again!
Sunday, 20 July 2008
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Volume V
as told by Princess Juliana
18 Atraie 1832
Aihhh...
Dear dear diary...
I feel as if all that I'm writing about is complaints about Sir Donkey Bonkey.
And boy,
I never realised that his feet stank so badly.
Seriously... I've never seen flowers and grass die like that before! All the plants/any living creature along the pathway seemed to wither, turn black and DIE! Goshhh... Now that's smelly feet for sure.
My nose must be blocked or something, I couldn't smell a thing (THANK GOODNESS).
Hmm, the journey's quieter than usual. Stinky Feet bonkers must have a lot going on in his head (for once!). He seems really sure where to go this time though. That's a little odd... for someone who doesn't know how to read the map properly. Haha!
19 Atraie 1832
Erh...
The journey's a little too quiet for my liking...
Even the birds seem to have stopped singing...
Maybe this part of the country is haunted! Oh nooo~!
I knew it! Sir Boobaalaa must be a wizard in disguise!!! OH NOOO~~~
Yea right, who am I kidding?
As if anyone would want to kidnap him.
Who would want to be in his place anyway... Kicked out by his king, sent to kill the dragon...
Where are we, where are we~
All I see is...
Sir Fuss Pot, Mazzy, dead stuff (caused by Fuss Pot's smelly feet), hmm, the grey sky (even the sky is unwilling to cooperate and it feels as if the gloomy skies are pressing me down! *sigh*).
Hey hey, it's starting to rain!
We've get our coverings up.
Sheesh, that lazy bum should help us put our tents up. Grr.
BYE.
20 Atraie 1832
It didn't rain...
I thought I saw the rain coming our way. :(
My eyes are playing tricks on me. It looks as if the place we stopped by last night didn't get wet.
OH! I knew that he was going to give in somehow. Ha ha!
I refused to talk to him since we quarrel. Hmm, does this means that we've patched up?
Here's what he said:
"Why are you in a rush to set the tents up?"
"The rain's coming this way! Quick, come and help us!"
"*grunt*"
Erh, ok. That doesn't count, considering he didn't even bother to help me or Mazzy. -_-"
So the fight is still on. Hmph.
He even had a surprised look on his face when I asked him to help!
THAT DOES IT! That annoying cow bum can sit in the rain when it starts raining. Looks like it's going to rain again. We better stop here for tonight. The clouds look as if they can't hold up much longer...
Good night, dear diary.
Only you don't give me problems.
21 Atraie 1832
SOMETHING WEIRD IS HAPPENING!
It rain again last night! I SAW the rain clouds coming... and the weirdest thing happened! The rain clouds seemed to split over our heads and not a single drop touched us or any of our belongings.
Eee! This is freaky! What's wrong with this part of the country? O_o!
18 Atraie 1832
Aihhh...
Dear dear diary...
I feel as if all that I'm writing about is complaints about Sir Donkey Bonkey.
And boy,
I never realised that his feet stank so badly.
Seriously... I've never seen flowers and grass die like that before! All the plants/any living creature along the pathway seemed to wither, turn black and DIE! Goshhh... Now that's smelly feet for sure.
My nose must be blocked or something, I couldn't smell a thing (THANK GOODNESS).
Hmm, the journey's quieter than usual. Stinky Feet bonkers must have a lot going on in his head (for once!). He seems really sure where to go this time though. That's a little odd... for someone who doesn't know how to read the map properly. Haha!
19 Atraie 1832
Erh...
The journey's a little too quiet for my liking...
Even the birds seem to have stopped singing...
Maybe this part of the country is haunted! Oh nooo~!
I knew it! Sir Boobaalaa must be a wizard in disguise!!! OH NOOO~~~
Yea right, who am I kidding?
As if anyone would want to kidnap him.
Who would want to be in his place anyway... Kicked out by his king, sent to kill the dragon...
Where are we, where are we~
All I see is...
Sir Fuss Pot, Mazzy, dead stuff (caused by Fuss Pot's smelly feet), hmm, the grey sky (even the sky is unwilling to cooperate and it feels as if the gloomy skies are pressing me down! *sigh*).
Hey hey, it's starting to rain!
We've get our coverings up.
Sheesh, that lazy bum should help us put our tents up. Grr.
BYE.
20 Atraie 1832
It didn't rain...
I thought I saw the rain coming our way. :(
My eyes are playing tricks on me. It looks as if the place we stopped by last night didn't get wet.
OH! I knew that he was going to give in somehow. Ha ha!
I refused to talk to him since we quarrel. Hmm, does this means that we've patched up?
Here's what he said:
"Why are you in a rush to set the tents up?"
"The rain's coming this way! Quick, come and help us!"
"*grunt*"
Erh, ok. That doesn't count, considering he didn't even bother to help me or Mazzy. -_-"
So the fight is still on. Hmph.
He even had a surprised look on his face when I asked him to help!
THAT DOES IT! That annoying cow bum can sit in the rain when it starts raining. Looks like it's going to rain again. We better stop here for tonight. The clouds look as if they can't hold up much longer...
Good night, dear diary.
Only you don't give me problems.
21 Atraie 1832
SOMETHING WEIRD IS HAPPENING!
It rain again last night! I SAW the rain clouds coming... and the weirdest thing happened! The rain clouds seemed to split over our heads and not a single drop touched us or any of our belongings.
Eee! This is freaky! What's wrong with this part of the country? O_o!
Saturday, 23 February 2008
The Diaries of Sir Robert the Violent: Volume IV
as told by Sir Robert
15 Atraie 1832
Ingrate! Ingrate! INGRATE!!! That's what that excuse of a princess is! After all I've done for her. First, I carried her over my shoulder when she wasn't feeling well. And then, I got Mazzy to carry her. And to top it all off, had I not instructed Mazzy to find her a doctor to tend to her, she'd probably be dead by now.
According to the doctor, it seems that Emeline had caught a severe case of Blue Fever. Symptoms include delirium and a tendency to blow the smallest of issues grossly out of proportion. And that's just the early stage; if allowed to continue the patient will slowly start turning blue until she dies from being mobbed by a bunch of irate villages who will mistake her for a goblin. Maybe I should have let that happened.
Admittedly, I must have made a wrong turn somewhere along the way to Velnheim. But then again, it's difficult to navigate when you've got a petulant little brat of a girl hanging over your shoulders, constantly telling you that you're heading the wrong way. Such things do tend to rub off on you. Not to mention the fact that this girl is rotten luck to begin with. Ugh!
So we're not in Velnheim. Yesterday, I had to find out where on Dargenvale we were, so I stopped a passer-by to ask him some questions, and this was how the conversation went:
"Good day to you!" I had said.
"Up yours!"
"Why, thank you. Could you please tell us where we are?"
"I said, up yours!"
"Oh how very kind of you to think so, but could you-"
And the passer-by just walked off in a huff. Just like that. Rather conflicting behaviour I daresay. But it mattered not, for I soon had found another passer-by who was not as polite, but willing to answer my questions, no less. The conversation went as such:
"Good day," I had said, "can you please tell us where we are?"
"Sure. You are in Here."
"Yes, I know I'm here, but surely you could tell me what this place is called?"
"Here."
"Yes here," I had said, getting a little bit frustrated, "but where is here"
"Here is here, and here is Here. You are in Here."
"What? You mean here as in 'not there'?" I was clearly getting confused.
"Oh no, There is about twenty miles south of Here."
I had given up at that point; proceeding further would have been akin to dragging a dead cow up a steep slope. Instead, I poked around the town for a bit until I came across a rickety sign that said "Welcome to the Town of Here".
So we are in Here! Why didn't that idiot just say so?
16 Atraie 1832
Learnt a little more about Here today. This small town turns out to be the venue of a biannual Wizards and Witches convention! And as luck would have it, the convention was held today. Hmmph! Never really liked Wizards to be honest. They're a rather snobbish lot if you ask me. But out of curiousity, I decided to go take a look.
I stopped by a booth that demonstrated how one could make a potion out of dragon's blood that would reverse the effects of aging. Fascinating! The one who manned the booth was a young warlock who introduced himself as Dorgray. I told him that I myself was on a quest to slay the dragon that was plaguing Dargenvale. He seemed very impressed at my courage and valour, and rightfully so, I might add! Anyway, Dorgray offered to teach me a thing or two about dragonslaying. I am to meet him by the fountain in the Town Square later this evening.
I would have invited Emeline to accompany me to meet the warlock, but unfortunately we're not on speaking terms. This morning she launched into her usual tirade about me getting all of us into trouble. Naturally I had to defend myself against her callous accusations! Might I remind her that if it weren't for my brave deeds, Emeline wouldn't be where she is right now! Some of the things she said about me are simply unjustified!
She did however say some very nasty lines. This was the part of our argument that hurt me the most:
She said, "I hate you, Sir Robert! I hate all that you've ever done! I hate the way you look (she's obviously lying here)! I hate the way you talk! I hate the way you walk! I hate everything about you!"
I said, "it matters not, Emeline! For it is your sister Princess Juliana that I truly love!"
Then she said, "HAH! Then joke's on you Sir Fart-a-lot! Because I AM Princess-"
"-Juliana's sister!" Mazzy had quickly chipped in, "and Sir Robert, your hair is a mess! You better have that fixed!". Ah Mazzy, Mazzy. That's why I keep her around, she's always so mindful of my appearance. Funny the way she suddenly spoke up like that, though. Normally she just sits quietly in the corner whenever Emeline and I quarelled.
Anyway, that was this morning. Right now, I'm off to see Dorgray. Slipped a note under Emeline's door to tell her of my whereabouts. Hmmph! So she hates me. Big deal.
Only, why does my heart feel so heavy then...
15 Atraie 1832
Ingrate! Ingrate! INGRATE!!! That's what that excuse of a princess is! After all I've done for her. First, I carried her over my shoulder when she wasn't feeling well. And then, I got Mazzy to carry her. And to top it all off, had I not instructed Mazzy to find her a doctor to tend to her, she'd probably be dead by now.
According to the doctor, it seems that Emeline had caught a severe case of Blue Fever. Symptoms include delirium and a tendency to blow the smallest of issues grossly out of proportion. And that's just the early stage; if allowed to continue the patient will slowly start turning blue until she dies from being mobbed by a bunch of irate villages who will mistake her for a goblin. Maybe I should have let that happened.
Admittedly, I must have made a wrong turn somewhere along the way to Velnheim. But then again, it's difficult to navigate when you've got a petulant little brat of a girl hanging over your shoulders, constantly telling you that you're heading the wrong way. Such things do tend to rub off on you. Not to mention the fact that this girl is rotten luck to begin with. Ugh!
So we're not in Velnheim. Yesterday, I had to find out where on Dargenvale we were, so I stopped a passer-by to ask him some questions, and this was how the conversation went:
"Good day to you!" I had said.
"Up yours!"
"Why, thank you. Could you please tell us where we are?"
"I said, up yours!"
"Oh how very kind of you to think so, but could you-"
And the passer-by just walked off in a huff. Just like that. Rather conflicting behaviour I daresay. But it mattered not, for I soon had found another passer-by who was not as polite, but willing to answer my questions, no less. The conversation went as such:
"Good day," I had said, "can you please tell us where we are?"
"Sure. You are in Here."
"Yes, I know I'm here, but surely you could tell me what this place is called?"
"Here."
"Yes here," I had said, getting a little bit frustrated, "but where is here"
"Here is here, and here is Here. You are in Here."
"What? You mean here as in 'not there'?" I was clearly getting confused.
"Oh no, There is about twenty miles south of Here."
I had given up at that point; proceeding further would have been akin to dragging a dead cow up a steep slope. Instead, I poked around the town for a bit until I came across a rickety sign that said "Welcome to the Town of Here".
So we are in Here! Why didn't that idiot just say so?
16 Atraie 1832
Learnt a little more about Here today. This small town turns out to be the venue of a biannual Wizards and Witches convention! And as luck would have it, the convention was held today. Hmmph! Never really liked Wizards to be honest. They're a rather snobbish lot if you ask me. But out of curiousity, I decided to go take a look.
I stopped by a booth that demonstrated how one could make a potion out of dragon's blood that would reverse the effects of aging. Fascinating! The one who manned the booth was a young warlock who introduced himself as Dorgray. I told him that I myself was on a quest to slay the dragon that was plaguing Dargenvale. He seemed very impressed at my courage and valour, and rightfully so, I might add! Anyway, Dorgray offered to teach me a thing or two about dragonslaying. I am to meet him by the fountain in the Town Square later this evening.
I would have invited Emeline to accompany me to meet the warlock, but unfortunately we're not on speaking terms. This morning she launched into her usual tirade about me getting all of us into trouble. Naturally I had to defend myself against her callous accusations! Might I remind her that if it weren't for my brave deeds, Emeline wouldn't be where she is right now! Some of the things she said about me are simply unjustified!
She did however say some very nasty lines. This was the part of our argument that hurt me the most:
She said, "I hate you, Sir Robert! I hate all that you've ever done! I hate the way you look (she's obviously lying here)! I hate the way you talk! I hate the way you walk! I hate everything about you!"
I said, "it matters not, Emeline! For it is your sister Princess Juliana that I truly love!"
Then she said, "HAH! Then joke's on you Sir Fart-a-lot! Because I AM Princess-"
"-Juliana's sister!" Mazzy had quickly chipped in, "and Sir Robert, your hair is a mess! You better have that fixed!". Ah Mazzy, Mazzy. That's why I keep her around, she's always so mindful of my appearance. Funny the way she suddenly spoke up like that, though. Normally she just sits quietly in the corner whenever Emeline and I quarelled.
Anyway, that was this morning. Right now, I'm off to see Dorgray. Slipped a note under Emeline's door to tell her of my whereabouts. Hmmph! So she hates me. Big deal.
Only, why does my heart feel so heavy then...
Tuesday, 12 February 2008
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Volume IV
as told by Princess Juliana
14 Atraie 1832
OH, MY POOR HANDS!
I've been banging so hard on Sir Cranky's breastplate that my hands are still aching. Some bruises are appearing. I should sue him for violation of personal space. Or even better... let the dragon EAT him! Not that he would taste nice, but I wouldn't mind seeing the dragon have a chew at him first. Ugh.
I hate to say "I told you so" but...
I TOLD THAT ANNOYING, SMELLY, UGLY, FLAT-FACED, OBNOXIOUS BRAT THAT WE WERE LOST!!!
And where are we?
We are in HERE??!
HERE??!
I know that we're HERE! where else are we supposed to be? THERE?!!!
It didn't take 2 days, not 3, BUT FOUR WHOLE DAYS TO GET HERE?
I can really smack that guy silly.
Do I look thattt dumb?
Didn't I tell him that we were lost?
Didn't I tell him that we were heading south-west?
Doesn't he know that he's not right all the time?
Does he not know how to respect another person's opinions?
Does he even know how to LISTEN??!
I can bite off one whole piece of his flesh now if I see his face now.
I'm so angry I can't even write properly.
15 Atraie 1832
Thank God for Mazzy.
I found out that it was her who carried me all the way here after I fainted.
He calls himself a man? Tsk.
I take back all the good things I've ever said about him, as little as it already is.
Thankfully Mazzy nursed me and found a doctor for me. If I were alone with him I think I would have been left behind at the tree stump. -_-
I wonder how a lousy knight got a squire as kind as Mazzy.
I also wonder why she sticks with him.
Ah... I'm just tired now.
I'm sick of arguing with him and I get a terrible headache everytime I think of him and our journey.
I hope we're not going to stay here long.
The people here look quite hostile... Especially the tall men dressed in black robes. They look quite scary. Thankfully I found a local here who's nice enough to bring me around and get things off my mind.
16 Atraie 1832
Woah!
This place IS scary.
I wouldn't have dared venture out if I knew this place was crowded with wizards and witches.
I'm locking myself in this room until we depart!
I didn't know they had such serious meetings and discussed such important matters.
Save the earth from evil warlocks? Stop global swarming of gnomes? Stop lazy witches from bribing princesses to pass them their dad's kingdom secrets?
Woah... It's a good thing no one knows that I'm a princess.
And to think of that... I almost revealed that I'm not Emeline when I quarreled with Sir Stiff-neck. It's a good thing Mazzy interrupted him by saying that his hair was not in place.
Oh! I got a note under the door.
Apparently he doesn't want to talk to me as much as I don't want to talk to him.
Oh wait, I locked the door.
So... we are to leave at noon.
Good.
14 Atraie 1832
OH, MY POOR HANDS!
I've been banging so hard on Sir Cranky's breastplate that my hands are still aching. Some bruises are appearing. I should sue him for violation of personal space. Or even better... let the dragon EAT him! Not that he would taste nice, but I wouldn't mind seeing the dragon have a chew at him first. Ugh.
I hate to say "I told you so" but...
I TOLD THAT ANNOYING, SMELLY, UGLY, FLAT-FACED, OBNOXIOUS BRAT THAT WE WERE LOST!!!
And where are we?
We are in HERE??!
HERE??!
I know that we're HERE! where else are we supposed to be? THERE?!!!
It didn't take 2 days, not 3, BUT FOUR WHOLE DAYS TO GET HERE?
I can really smack that guy silly.
Do I look thattt dumb?
Didn't I tell him that we were lost?
Didn't I tell him that we were heading south-west?
Doesn't he know that he's not right all the time?
Does he not know how to respect another person's opinions?
Does he even know how to LISTEN??!
I can bite off one whole piece of his flesh now if I see his face now.
I'm so angry I can't even write properly.
15 Atraie 1832
Thank God for Mazzy.
I found out that it was her who carried me all the way here after I fainted.
He calls himself a man? Tsk.
I take back all the good things I've ever said about him, as little as it already is.
Thankfully Mazzy nursed me and found a doctor for me. If I were alone with him I think I would have been left behind at the tree stump. -_-
I wonder how a lousy knight got a squire as kind as Mazzy.
I also wonder why she sticks with him.
Ah... I'm just tired now.
I'm sick of arguing with him and I get a terrible headache everytime I think of him and our journey.
I hope we're not going to stay here long.
The people here look quite hostile... Especially the tall men dressed in black robes. They look quite scary. Thankfully I found a local here who's nice enough to bring me around and get things off my mind.
16 Atraie 1832
Woah!
This place IS scary.
I wouldn't have dared venture out if I knew this place was crowded with wizards and witches.
I'm locking myself in this room until we depart!
I didn't know they had such serious meetings and discussed such important matters.
Save the earth from evil warlocks? Stop global swarming of gnomes? Stop lazy witches from bribing princesses to pass them their dad's kingdom secrets?
Woah... It's a good thing no one knows that I'm a princess.
And to think of that... I almost revealed that I'm not Emeline when I quarreled with Sir Stiff-neck. It's a good thing Mazzy interrupted him by saying that his hair was not in place.
Oh! I got a note under the door.
Apparently he doesn't want to talk to me as much as I don't want to talk to him.
Oh wait, I locked the door.
So... we are to leave at noon.
Good.
Wednesday, 23 January 2008
The Diaries of Sir Robert the Violent: Volume III
as told by Sir Robert
8 Atraie 1832
These rats are smarter than I could have possibly imagined! Apparently, they even seem to have enough charisma to recruit a bunch of roaches to do their bidding for them. Most interesting. They even seem to have a leader amongst themselves - a rat slightly larger than the rest. I named him Remus, after ol' Uncle Remus who very much resembled a rat himself so much so the cats were always having a go at him. Haha. Poor Uncle Remus. I'll never forget his last words... I believe the went somewhere along the lines of "GET 'EM OFF ME!!! GET 'EM OFF ME!!!!!"
But I digress. Imagine my surprise this morning when I saw them scurry past in single file, each carrying their own bundle of food. I say! If I can find a way to tame them to do my bidding, they can be exceedingly useful to our cause.
Emeline was still wearing her silly grey cloak when she woke up. Oh well, it's not my place to question the King's orders anyway.
Tomorrow we shall begin our two-day journey to a quiet, backwater hamlet called Velnheim. Despite its humble settings, Velnheim will forever be known in Dargenvale history as the birthplace of her first Dragonslayer, Sir Isaac Angryfist. They say that hidden in this unassuming town lies Sir Angryfist's secret library, where all his journals are contained. I believe that if we can acquire these journals, they shall prove invaluable to our endeavours. We shall set off at dawn. That is, if all goes well.
9 Atraie 1832
Just perfect. Last night Emeline passed out for no apparent reason at all. Mazzy spent the whole night looking after her, at the expense of her own sleep. Such dedication. I slept like a baby knowing that she had everything covered.
Emeline didn't even know how she fainted. All she could remember was having bouts of stomach pains before blacking out. I guess such is the kind of bad luck a sixth child has to face. Too bad.
But of course that means we'll have to postpone our journey to Velnheim. I suppose I could ask the innkeep a thing or on two how to get there. But I'll do that tomorrow. Today I have the exceedingly important task of grooming my silky locks. In fact, I really should apologize to my hair for not taking care of them enough. It's all Emeline's fault, I swear.
Mazzy said to me, "I've been talking care of Emeline all day. Can I please have the evening off?" Silly question! She deserves much more than that for her dedication, which is why I commended her with an enthusiastic "Up yours!". You should see the way she happily stomped off after that. I have such a way with the ladies, oh my!
10 Atraie 1832
Something is definitely wrong with Emeline. When I passed her room last night she was talking in her sleep. Well, that's perfectly normal to be brutally honest, but the weird thing was that she kept going on about how she missed Emeline. She just kept going "Emeline, I miss you" in between sobs. How terribly frightening! Even I am not that narcissistic! But I suppose Princesses are entitled to act weird on account that they are, well, Princesses.
Anyway, today is the day with set off for Velnheim. Thanks to the innkeep's directions and my remarkable talent in drawing, I have drawn up a map of the outlying regions. Velnheim lies two days to the west. Perhaps Emeline's illness has been a twist of good fortune after all, for had I not asked the Innkeep, I certainly would have not known that Velnheim was to the west. Heck I wouldn't even know what a west is. He also told me that Velnheim is pronounced "felnn-haim". I guess we learn something new every day.
11 Atraie 1832
There is something terribly wrong with Emeline. She keeps complaining we're lost when we're not! Well not entirely... I mean, sure we made a few wrong turns along the way and I'm quite certain that west is way yonder, but it's infuriating the way she thinks she knows better than me when all she does is whine whine whine.
Right now my shoulders are aching. That's because just an hour ago, Emeline sat on a rock and refused to move "until I got my bearings right". So I had to heft her up over my shoulder and carry her along, pretty much against her will. My back also aches too, and that's because she kept pounding at it while kicking and screaming the whole way through. I'm glad nobody saw us; it was so bloody embarrassing! Mazzy couldn't stop smiling the whole way through. I wonder what she found so damn amusing.
12 Atraie 1832
Today's journey was a lot more pleasant. Emeline finally gave up arguing with me. About time too. I'm sick of her constantly saying we're traveling in circles when we're quite clearly going in a straight line. She had vehemently insisted that she had marked a particular tree stump by the roadside yesterday as proof, and that we had passed it three times already. That of course is utter nonsense; the only marks she made yesterday are the dents on my poor breastplate.
I had to heft this silly excuse of a Princess over my shoulder again for most of today's journey. And that's because she passed out yet again. I really hope we reach Velnheim soon. This girl needs a physician and no mistake!
Currently we've stopped by a gentle brook to refresh ourselves. Hearing the swish-swish of water skipping lightly off the smooth pebbles is surprisingly therapeutic, and nothing beats dipping your head into a stream of icy cold water to clear things up a little. Velnheim should not be too far off.
I think I shall let Mazzy carry the Princess for the remainder of today's journey. That would certainly wipe that idiotic grin off her face.
Such rotten luck!
p.s. I couldn't stop thinking about Pricess Juliana today. I wonder why...
8 Atraie 1832
These rats are smarter than I could have possibly imagined! Apparently, they even seem to have enough charisma to recruit a bunch of roaches to do their bidding for them. Most interesting. They even seem to have a leader amongst themselves - a rat slightly larger than the rest. I named him Remus, after ol' Uncle Remus who very much resembled a rat himself so much so the cats were always having a go at him. Haha. Poor Uncle Remus. I'll never forget his last words... I believe the went somewhere along the lines of "GET 'EM OFF ME!!! GET 'EM OFF ME!!!!!"
But I digress. Imagine my surprise this morning when I saw them scurry past in single file, each carrying their own bundle of food. I say! If I can find a way to tame them to do my bidding, they can be exceedingly useful to our cause.
Emeline was still wearing her silly grey cloak when she woke up. Oh well, it's not my place to question the King's orders anyway.
Tomorrow we shall begin our two-day journey to a quiet, backwater hamlet called Velnheim. Despite its humble settings, Velnheim will forever be known in Dargenvale history as the birthplace of her first Dragonslayer, Sir Isaac Angryfist. They say that hidden in this unassuming town lies Sir Angryfist's secret library, where all his journals are contained. I believe that if we can acquire these journals, they shall prove invaluable to our endeavours. We shall set off at dawn. That is, if all goes well.
9 Atraie 1832
Just perfect. Last night Emeline passed out for no apparent reason at all. Mazzy spent the whole night looking after her, at the expense of her own sleep. Such dedication. I slept like a baby knowing that she had everything covered.
Emeline didn't even know how she fainted. All she could remember was having bouts of stomach pains before blacking out. I guess such is the kind of bad luck a sixth child has to face. Too bad.
But of course that means we'll have to postpone our journey to Velnheim. I suppose I could ask the innkeep a thing or on two how to get there. But I'll do that tomorrow. Today I have the exceedingly important task of grooming my silky locks. In fact, I really should apologize to my hair for not taking care of them enough. It's all Emeline's fault, I swear.
Mazzy said to me, "I've been talking care of Emeline all day. Can I please have the evening off?" Silly question! She deserves much more than that for her dedication, which is why I commended her with an enthusiastic "Up yours!". You should see the way she happily stomped off after that. I have such a way with the ladies, oh my!
10 Atraie 1832
Something is definitely wrong with Emeline. When I passed her room last night she was talking in her sleep. Well, that's perfectly normal to be brutally honest, but the weird thing was that she kept going on about how she missed Emeline. She just kept going "Emeline, I miss you" in between sobs. How terribly frightening! Even I am not that narcissistic! But I suppose Princesses are entitled to act weird on account that they are, well, Princesses.
Anyway, today is the day with set off for Velnheim. Thanks to the innkeep's directions and my remarkable talent in drawing, I have drawn up a map of the outlying regions. Velnheim lies two days to the west. Perhaps Emeline's illness has been a twist of good fortune after all, for had I not asked the Innkeep, I certainly would have not known that Velnheim was to the west. Heck I wouldn't even know what a west is. He also told me that Velnheim is pronounced "felnn-haim". I guess we learn something new every day.
11 Atraie 1832
There is something terribly wrong with Emeline. She keeps complaining we're lost when we're not! Well not entirely... I mean, sure we made a few wrong turns along the way and I'm quite certain that west is way yonder, but it's infuriating the way she thinks she knows better than me when all she does is whine whine whine.
Right now my shoulders are aching. That's because just an hour ago, Emeline sat on a rock and refused to move "until I got my bearings right". So I had to heft her up over my shoulder and carry her along, pretty much against her will. My back also aches too, and that's because she kept pounding at it while kicking and screaming the whole way through. I'm glad nobody saw us; it was so bloody embarrassing! Mazzy couldn't stop smiling the whole way through. I wonder what she found so damn amusing.
12 Atraie 1832
Today's journey was a lot more pleasant. Emeline finally gave up arguing with me. About time too. I'm sick of her constantly saying we're traveling in circles when we're quite clearly going in a straight line. She had vehemently insisted that she had marked a particular tree stump by the roadside yesterday as proof, and that we had passed it three times already. That of course is utter nonsense; the only marks she made yesterday are the dents on my poor breastplate.
I had to heft this silly excuse of a Princess over my shoulder again for most of today's journey. And that's because she passed out yet again. I really hope we reach Velnheim soon. This girl needs a physician and no mistake!
Currently we've stopped by a gentle brook to refresh ourselves. Hearing the swish-swish of water skipping lightly off the smooth pebbles is surprisingly therapeutic, and nothing beats dipping your head into a stream of icy cold water to clear things up a little. Velnheim should not be too far off.
I think I shall let Mazzy carry the Princess for the remainder of today's journey. That would certainly wipe that idiotic grin off her face.
Such rotten luck!
p.s. I couldn't stop thinking about Pricess Juliana today. I wonder why...
Tuesday, 22 January 2008
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Volume III
as told by Princess Juliana
8 Atraie 1832
Felt odd that I woke up staring at the ceiling full of crooked beams instead of my lace curtains. It's a nice feeling. Hmm, cosy and... very... homey.
I went down to get some breakfast, and to my horror, I saw rats and roaches crawling all over the kitchen floor. Ugh, I almost vomited on the kitchen floor. Thankfully, before I started screaming and waking the whole place up, I saw and recognised my pet mice! Sheesh, those things! leading all the kitchen rats and roaches into a raid for food?! How bad an influence is that? Tsk. Yuck. I'll have to apologise to the innkeeper and pay for all the damages done. Ugh.I wonder how they got here in the first place.
Have to settle for the packed food we brought with us now.
9 Atraie 1832
It was strange that I woke up seeing Mazzy snoring away at my bedside this morning. Apparently - after getting the story from a sleepy Mazzy - I fainted away after having all the bad attacks of stomach pains. Oddly enough, I don't remember anything after I ate those sandwiches we had packed for us. Hmm... And it was packed by Emeline on the morning we left.
Emeline... How I miss her now...
She even gave me pink socks for luck the day before.
Ah, I distinctly remember her telling me now: "Remember, this is for you, and those are for Sir Robert. Make sure you don't lose them! They're very hard to get and are very very very lucky. I should know, as I'm the unluckiest daughter, but yet I'm so lucky to have gotten away with the dragon slaying and... ugh, adventure."
I'll put them on now. I believe I'm well enough to kill a horse... or break Sir Snooty's legs. But, nahhh... I'll keep his legs intact so that he can wear the socks that were so hard to come by. Hee. Or... Maybe I should wear both pairs - for extra extra luck.
Looks like we won't able to set off today. My legs feel so wobbly...
10 Atraie 1832
My legs were well enough to walk on after all.
Set out at noon yesterday after getting directions from the innkeeper. Sir Ask-a-lot is rather smart after all, for all the complaints he makes about having to slay the dragon and not being appreciated. He actually drew the map out quite nicely and precisely and made sure everything was set right - the food supplies enough to last till the next tavern or inn.
I wish Mazzy would quit goggling at me. Makes me feel so weird... I wonder if she knows that I'm not Emeline.
Ah, there goes Sir Order-a-lot barking orders at me to continue our journey. Off we go again.
11 Atraie 1832
I think we're lost... I believe I've been here the last time I wrote in my diary entry. The very same tree stump.
EVEN THE CLOUDS LOOK THE SAME!
HELP!!!
12 Atraie 1832
So much for the lucky socks...
We ARE lost. I'm too tired to even argue with Sir Stiff-neck. He won't listen to me when I told him that this is the THIRD time we're at this tree stump. I even made a mark on it yesterday. Sigh... So we're going around in circles, just like the trees in front of my eyes...
8 Atraie 1832
Felt odd that I woke up staring at the ceiling full of crooked beams instead of my lace curtains. It's a nice feeling. Hmm, cosy and... very... homey.
I went down to get some breakfast, and to my horror, I saw rats and roaches crawling all over the kitchen floor. Ugh, I almost vomited on the kitchen floor. Thankfully, before I started screaming and waking the whole place up, I saw and recognised my pet mice! Sheesh, those things! leading all the kitchen rats and roaches into a raid for food?! How bad an influence is that? Tsk. Yuck. I'll have to apologise to the innkeeper and pay for all the damages done. Ugh.I wonder how they got here in the first place.
Have to settle for the packed food we brought with us now.
9 Atraie 1832
It was strange that I woke up seeing Mazzy snoring away at my bedside this morning. Apparently - after getting the story from a sleepy Mazzy - I fainted away after having all the bad attacks of stomach pains. Oddly enough, I don't remember anything after I ate those sandwiches we had packed for us. Hmm... And it was packed by Emeline on the morning we left.
Emeline... How I miss her now...
She even gave me pink socks for luck the day before.
Ah, I distinctly remember her telling me now: "Remember, this is for you, and those are for Sir Robert. Make sure you don't lose them! They're very hard to get and are very very very lucky. I should know, as I'm the unluckiest daughter, but yet I'm so lucky to have gotten away with the dragon slaying and... ugh, adventure."
I'll put them on now. I believe I'm well enough to kill a horse... or break Sir Snooty's legs. But, nahhh... I'll keep his legs intact so that he can wear the socks that were so hard to come by. Hee. Or... Maybe I should wear both pairs - for extra extra luck.
Looks like we won't able to set off today. My legs feel so wobbly...
10 Atraie 1832
My legs were well enough to walk on after all.
Set out at noon yesterday after getting directions from the innkeeper. Sir Ask-a-lot is rather smart after all, for all the complaints he makes about having to slay the dragon and not being appreciated. He actually drew the map out quite nicely and precisely and made sure everything was set right - the food supplies enough to last till the next tavern or inn.
I wish Mazzy would quit goggling at me. Makes me feel so weird... I wonder if she knows that I'm not Emeline.
Ah, there goes Sir Order-a-lot barking orders at me to continue our journey. Off we go again.
11 Atraie 1832
I think we're lost... I believe I've been here the last time I wrote in my diary entry. The very same tree stump.
EVEN THE CLOUDS LOOK THE SAME!
HELP!!!
12 Atraie 1832
So much for the lucky socks...
We ARE lost. I'm too tired to even argue with Sir Stiff-neck. He won't listen to me when I told him that this is the THIRD time we're at this tree stump. I even made a mark on it yesterday. Sigh... So we're going around in circles, just like the trees in front of my eyes...
Sunday, 20 January 2008
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Volume II
As told by Princess Juliana
3 Atraie 1832
Frustration frustration frustration!
Emeline has been crying for the past 6 days and is STILL crying.
Honestly... my patience is about to run out...
I have to admit... going off with that annoying, absurd, loud-mouthed brat will not be any fun at all... but hey, she gets to go on an all-expense-paid adventure. It's a hundred times better than marrying Duke Frederick the Balding of Billygate, if you asked me.
Oh my gosh! that was the loudest wail I've ever heard coming from Emeline. If she's not going to stop the noise soon I'll smack her soundly. It's 2 am for goodness sake!
4 Atraie 1832
So the great and mighty Sir Bob has finally been released. What joy. Overheard the chambermaids laughing over what he said about not having proper toilets and drainage systems in his "private quarters" when he left the dungeon. I wonder if it ever got through his thick head that he wasn't in a five-star inn. Gosh...
6 Atraie 1832
Daddy decided to call upon Sir Dongdong today to let him know his duties, and how lightly he was let off. Being ignorant like he always is... he looked so pleased bowing down to the peasants (who were all attending the appointment of the dragon-slayer - one of our customs). I suppose the peasants were all too pleased to smile back and cheer for someone who's going off to kill the dreaded dragon. His expression changed drastically after daddy told him what to do. I think daddy was exceptionally gracious this time as he didn't do his customary kick-in-the-butt to the knights he hated when he sent them off. I think it is because he is the first knight that has amused daddy so much that daddy's health improved tremendously since the knight's fall in the fountain... Must have been all the deep belly-shaking breathes caused by laughter... Hmm. Must take note of that and let the doctor know.
I have to say though, that Sir Bob has good and strong features... I believe he's even good looking, if he loses that arrogant and nose-in-the-air strut of his.
7 Atraie 1832
Oh, I'm so excited! I'm going off on an adventure!!!
The first time in my whole entire life.
No timid and scared chambermaids, no guards eyeing me wherever I go, no ladies-in-waiting hanging onto every word I utter, or even... mutter. They have superb hearing... I remember the time I whispered "ouch" when I burnt my lips drinking hot tea, actually it was more like a muffled grunt now that I think of it... they rushed from the door and fussed over me like I lost a head or something.
Oops, have to go. I have to pack my last minute things. Must not forget my grey cloak!
Time to meet... HIM. Ugh.
Think of the adventure.
Think of the adventure.
Think of the adventure.
DON'T think of his presence.
DON'T think of his presence!
Think of the adventure!
Whee~
~:~:~:~:~
I couldn't believe how tired I was when we reached a roadside tavern in the evening. Listening to that idiot's rubbish really does take its toll on a girl.
Oh, I'm too tired to write...
Tomorrow.......
And... not forget that I must respond to the name Emeline.
What have I gotten myself into...?
I wish my chambermaid is here now....................
3 Atraie 1832
Frustration frustration frustration!
Emeline has been crying for the past 6 days and is STILL crying.
Honestly... my patience is about to run out...
I have to admit... going off with that annoying, absurd, loud-mouthed brat will not be any fun at all... but hey, she gets to go on an all-expense-paid adventure. It's a hundred times better than marrying Duke Frederick the Balding of Billygate, if you asked me.
Oh my gosh! that was the loudest wail I've ever heard coming from Emeline. If she's not going to stop the noise soon I'll smack her soundly. It's 2 am for goodness sake!
4 Atraie 1832
So the great and mighty Sir Bob has finally been released. What joy. Overheard the chambermaids laughing over what he said about not having proper toilets and drainage systems in his "private quarters" when he left the dungeon. I wonder if it ever got through his thick head that he wasn't in a five-star inn. Gosh...
6 Atraie 1832
Daddy decided to call upon Sir Dongdong today to let him know his duties, and how lightly he was let off. Being ignorant like he always is... he looked so pleased bowing down to the peasants (who were all attending the appointment of the dragon-slayer - one of our customs). I suppose the peasants were all too pleased to smile back and cheer for someone who's going off to kill the dreaded dragon. His expression changed drastically after daddy told him what to do. I think daddy was exceptionally gracious this time as he didn't do his customary kick-in-the-butt to the knights he hated when he sent them off. I think it is because he is the first knight that has amused daddy so much that daddy's health improved tremendously since the knight's fall in the fountain... Must have been all the deep belly-shaking breathes caused by laughter... Hmm. Must take note of that and let the doctor know.
I have to say though, that Sir Bob has good and strong features... I believe he's even good looking, if he loses that arrogant and nose-in-the-air strut of his.
7 Atraie 1832
Oh, I'm so excited! I'm going off on an adventure!!!
The first time in my whole entire life.
No timid and scared chambermaids, no guards eyeing me wherever I go, no ladies-in-waiting hanging onto every word I utter, or even... mutter. They have superb hearing... I remember the time I whispered "ouch" when I burnt my lips drinking hot tea, actually it was more like a muffled grunt now that I think of it... they rushed from the door and fussed over me like I lost a head or something.
Oops, have to go. I have to pack my last minute things. Must not forget my grey cloak!
Time to meet... HIM. Ugh.
Think of the adventure.
Think of the adventure.
Think of the adventure.
DON'T think of his presence.
DON'T think of his presence!
Think of the adventure!
Whee~
~:~:~:~:~
I couldn't believe how tired I was when we reached a roadside tavern in the evening. Listening to that idiot's rubbish really does take its toll on a girl.
Oh, I'm too tired to write...
Tomorrow.......
And... not forget that I must respond to the name Emeline.
What have I gotten myself into...?
I wish my chambermaid is here now....................
Wednesday, 5 December 2007
The Diaries of Sir Robert the Violent: Vol. II
As told by Sir Robert
4 Atraie 1832
Jubilation! I have been freed by the King. It is obvious that he has realized how indispensible my services to the throne have become. Ah, but even Kings make mistakes too. I have forgiven him.
Said a hearty "up yours!" to the warden because I was in such a terrific mood. In return, he gestured me to look up. Strangely enough, there was nothing of interest on the ceiling as I would have otherwise had hoped. And it did strike me to be a bit odd that he was using his middle finger instead. Perhaps it's a new fad in town; and a popular knight like myself should really get with the times, lest the people of Dargenvale see me in ill-repute. But that will never happen.
5 Atraie 1832
Finally! A decent shave. Now my face is a smooth as a crystal ball. All the young lasses love the feel of a man's smooth chin after a shave. And I shan't disappoint either.
The rats from the dungeon have followed me home! Normally I would have had them slaughtered on a whim, but strangely enough these rats seem... well... clever. Almost educated, I daresay. Never have I seen a pack of rats clean up after themselves quite so efficiently. I think shall keep them. Mazzy has been really edgy because of them. Perfect.
Tomorrow I have an audience with the King. He's probably going to apologize to me for throwing in the dungeon. Silly man. It's not needed, really. I'm as gracious as knights come; and quick to forgive. Still, I shall be there to give him that assurance. And of course it wouldn't hurt to see that lovely Princess Juliana again. T'was at the Ball where I first laid eyes on her. There was an intense fire in her eyes. She even smiled at me too, just after the... uh... embarrassing fountain incident. It matters not. I think she's madly in love with me.
And for the record, I was tripped!
6 Atraie 1832
The King forgot to apologize at today's audience. That's understandable; he's busy running a Kingdom, so he can't be expected to remember everything. It would have been nice if he had, though.
It seems that the King was pretty darn adamant about me going to slay the dragon. I suppose I'm left with no choice. But to make matters worse, he has decreed that I will be accompanied by his sixth daughter, Princess Emeline! That girl is rotten luck! I mean after all, everybody knows that the number six is unlucky! I told Mazzy about the King's decision and she was shocked. She looked worriedly at me and asked "you do know why the King sent his 6th daughter to aid you, don't you Sir Robert?" And the answer hit me, plain for all to see. I couldn't believe it!
The King doesn't know how to count!
7 Atraie 1832
Today I went to the Castle gates to rendezvous with Princess Emeline. When I first saw her, I couldn't help but remark, "You call HER a Princess? See how scrawny she is! And her hair is a mess! Had I not known better I would say she resembled an upturned mop!". And that's when one of the guards said, "Sir, that is an upturned mop; the Princess is behind you."
Princess Emeline was wearing a grey hooded cloak that concealed most of her features. She wasn't unpleasant looking, insofar as I could tell from what little was revealed to me, and I could have sworn that she looked a tad older than her age. But I suppose women mature much faster. Well, as I reached out to pull down her hood, her hand slapped mine away sharply.
"It is the King's strict order that my hood be on at all times," she said in a sweet yet firm voice.
Oh well. King's orders are King's orders, despite how stupid they sound. I shall have to put up with this Princess and her idiosyncratic whims. So long as her bad luck doesn't rub off on me, I should be fine. If only our King had paid a little attention to his math, I would surely have been paired with fair Princess Juliana, and no mistakes.
Today's journey was uneventful at best. Princess Emeline said very little, aside from an obligatory 'yes' or 'no' whenever I would ask her a question. She must be intimidated by my presence, as many women are around a man of such class and stature. I couldn't believe how tired I was when we reached a roadside tavern in the evening. Talking about all my brave deeds all day really does take its toll on a man.
A strange thing happened before lights out today. I had to call Emeline (she insisted I drop the 'Princess' bit) a few times before she finally responded. Maybe she's partially deaf, which could well explain why she didn't seem too interested in my stories this afternoon. I guess it all makes sense.
4 Atraie 1832
Jubilation! I have been freed by the King. It is obvious that he has realized how indispensible my services to the throne have become. Ah, but even Kings make mistakes too. I have forgiven him.
Said a hearty "up yours!" to the warden because I was in such a terrific mood. In return, he gestured me to look up. Strangely enough, there was nothing of interest on the ceiling as I would have otherwise had hoped. And it did strike me to be a bit odd that he was using his middle finger instead. Perhaps it's a new fad in town; and a popular knight like myself should really get with the times, lest the people of Dargenvale see me in ill-repute. But that will never happen.
5 Atraie 1832
Finally! A decent shave. Now my face is a smooth as a crystal ball. All the young lasses love the feel of a man's smooth chin after a shave. And I shan't disappoint either.
The rats from the dungeon have followed me home! Normally I would have had them slaughtered on a whim, but strangely enough these rats seem... well... clever. Almost educated, I daresay. Never have I seen a pack of rats clean up after themselves quite so efficiently. I think shall keep them. Mazzy has been really edgy because of them. Perfect.
Tomorrow I have an audience with the King. He's probably going to apologize to me for throwing in the dungeon. Silly man. It's not needed, really. I'm as gracious as knights come; and quick to forgive. Still, I shall be there to give him that assurance. And of course it wouldn't hurt to see that lovely Princess Juliana again. T'was at the Ball where I first laid eyes on her. There was an intense fire in her eyes. She even smiled at me too, just after the... uh... embarrassing fountain incident. It matters not. I think she's madly in love with me.
And for the record, I was tripped!
6 Atraie 1832
The King forgot to apologize at today's audience. That's understandable; he's busy running a Kingdom, so he can't be expected to remember everything. It would have been nice if he had, though.
It seems that the King was pretty darn adamant about me going to slay the dragon. I suppose I'm left with no choice. But to make matters worse, he has decreed that I will be accompanied by his sixth daughter, Princess Emeline! That girl is rotten luck! I mean after all, everybody knows that the number six is unlucky! I told Mazzy about the King's decision and she was shocked. She looked worriedly at me and asked "you do know why the King sent his 6th daughter to aid you, don't you Sir Robert?" And the answer hit me, plain for all to see. I couldn't believe it!
The King doesn't know how to count!
7 Atraie 1832
Today I went to the Castle gates to rendezvous with Princess Emeline. When I first saw her, I couldn't help but remark, "You call HER a Princess? See how scrawny she is! And her hair is a mess! Had I not known better I would say she resembled an upturned mop!". And that's when one of the guards said, "Sir, that is an upturned mop; the Princess is behind you."
Princess Emeline was wearing a grey hooded cloak that concealed most of her features. She wasn't unpleasant looking, insofar as I could tell from what little was revealed to me, and I could have sworn that she looked a tad older than her age. But I suppose women mature much faster. Well, as I reached out to pull down her hood, her hand slapped mine away sharply.
"It is the King's strict order that my hood be on at all times," she said in a sweet yet firm voice.
Oh well. King's orders are King's orders, despite how stupid they sound. I shall have to put up with this Princess and her idiosyncratic whims. So long as her bad luck doesn't rub off on me, I should be fine. If only our King had paid a little attention to his math, I would surely have been paired with fair Princess Juliana, and no mistakes.
Today's journey was uneventful at best. Princess Emeline said very little, aside from an obligatory 'yes' or 'no' whenever I would ask her a question. She must be intimidated by my presence, as many women are around a man of such class and stature. I couldn't believe how tired I was when we reached a roadside tavern in the evening. Talking about all my brave deeds all day really does take its toll on a man.
A strange thing happened before lights out today. I had to call Emeline (she insisted I drop the 'Princess' bit) a few times before she finally responded. Maybe she's partially deaf, which could well explain why she didn't seem too interested in my stories this afternoon. I guess it all makes sense.
Monday, 3 December 2007
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Volume I
As told by Princess Juliana
19 Virtul 1832
Just now's Grand Gala Ball, I must say, was one of the most interesting Balls I have ever attended. I've never seen a knight as rude, annoying, loud-mouthed as he. Never have I seen a knight take off his helmet so many times just to stare at his own reflection on it.
Daddy wasn't happy with him though. Well, I wouldn't be either! if I were to be insulted like that in front of everyone. Sir whateverhisnameis IS lucky that his head is not gone, like all the other knights, thinking that "up yours" is a compliment. He probably is thanking his lucky stars now, that his head has been spared. I wonder if the task of slaying the dragon has taken too heavy a toll on them and their poor unprotected heads.
Nothing, however, can beat how he wore his helmet the wrong side and no one wanted to tell him because everyone was already sick and tired of all his ramblings about how good he looks and how much his helmet cost... The poor guy fell right into the fountain. Thankfully, the people around him were not as cruel as to leave him in there to drown.
20 Virtul 1832
Oh dear... My pet mice escaped again.
I need to get a more complicated set of locks so that those smarties won't be able to figure out how to escape again. The last one had 3 mazes and 5 different types of locks. Sigh, I must find the kingdom's wisest locksmiths to set another home for them.
21 Virtul 1832
Am I lucky or what?!
Daddy promised that I am being let off from the silly arranged marriage with Duke Frederick the Balding of Billygate.
I don't have to go through all the boring rituals and marry off at 18, like my other sisters. Being the 5th child is definitely lucky.
22 Virtul 1832
Lucky me, but unlucky Emeline...
Daddy said that the marriage was cancelled because he is sending Emeline off with the silly knight and there is no time to organise the wedding. I don't see why he has to send her off! She is afterall his daughter too! I wish daddy wasn't so partial... It always hurts to see Emeline look at me as if I killed her favourite cat or something... Though there was once I did accidentally pushed her fat cat into the well. But I did ask the gardener to get it out and I did personally bathed it. The cat was never again happy to see me and sheesh, her cat definitely keeps grudges well and long! It's always trying to get my mice.
I'm going to disown those darned mice if they're not coming back!
I hope they are starving to death wherever they are! Some dissatisfied mice indeed.
23 Virtul 1832
Ahh, felt better after taking it all out on chopping off daddy's favourite roses.
Thankfully, my legs are longer than the gardener's short stumpy ones, I managed to outrun him and his ferocious spade. I suppose he loves the flowers more than daddy does, because cutting the flowers off their stalks didn't seem to have any effect on daddy... Not when I cut off the orchids, not when I cut off the petunias, not when I cut off the lilies.
I wished that my sisters would come visit... It's so quiet here without them...
Emeline is not in a superb mood to be with either.
24 Virtul 1832
Daddy hasn't mentioned about when Emeline is supposed to meet this Sir "the great one". I hope he forgets. He didn't look very happy when the gardener told him about his favourite roses. I should have attacked the ugly thorn bushes with the wheelbarrow instead.
19 Virtul 1832
Just now's Grand Gala Ball, I must say, was one of the most interesting Balls I have ever attended. I've never seen a knight as rude, annoying, loud-mouthed as he. Never have I seen a knight take off his helmet so many times just to stare at his own reflection on it.
Daddy wasn't happy with him though. Well, I wouldn't be either! if I were to be insulted like that in front of everyone. Sir whateverhisnameis IS lucky that his head is not gone, like all the other knights, thinking that "up yours" is a compliment. He probably is thanking his lucky stars now, that his head has been spared. I wonder if the task of slaying the dragon has taken too heavy a toll on them and their poor unprotected heads.
Nothing, however, can beat how he wore his helmet the wrong side and no one wanted to tell him because everyone was already sick and tired of all his ramblings about how good he looks and how much his helmet cost... The poor guy fell right into the fountain. Thankfully, the people around him were not as cruel as to leave him in there to drown.
20 Virtul 1832
Oh dear... My pet mice escaped again.
I need to get a more complicated set of locks so that those smarties won't be able to figure out how to escape again. The last one had 3 mazes and 5 different types of locks. Sigh, I must find the kingdom's wisest locksmiths to set another home for them.
21 Virtul 1832
Am I lucky or what?!
Daddy promised that I am being let off from the silly arranged marriage with Duke Frederick the Balding of Billygate.
I don't have to go through all the boring rituals and marry off at 18, like my other sisters. Being the 5th child is definitely lucky.
22 Virtul 1832
Lucky me, but unlucky Emeline...
Daddy said that the marriage was cancelled because he is sending Emeline off with the silly knight and there is no time to organise the wedding. I don't see why he has to send her off! She is afterall his daughter too! I wish daddy wasn't so partial... It always hurts to see Emeline look at me as if I killed her favourite cat or something... Though there was once I did accidentally pushed her fat cat into the well. But I did ask the gardener to get it out and I did personally bathed it. The cat was never again happy to see me and sheesh, her cat definitely keeps grudges well and long! It's always trying to get my mice.
I'm going to disown those darned mice if they're not coming back!
I hope they are starving to death wherever they are! Some dissatisfied mice indeed.
23 Virtul 1832
Ahh, felt better after taking it all out on chopping off daddy's favourite roses.
Thankfully, my legs are longer than the gardener's short stumpy ones, I managed to outrun him and his ferocious spade. I suppose he loves the flowers more than daddy does, because cutting the flowers off their stalks didn't seem to have any effect on daddy... Not when I cut off the orchids, not when I cut off the petunias, not when I cut off the lilies.
I wished that my sisters would come visit... It's so quiet here without them...
Emeline is not in a superb mood to be with either.
24 Virtul 1832
Daddy hasn't mentioned about when Emeline is supposed to meet this Sir "the great one". I hope he forgets. He didn't look very happy when the gardener told him about his favourite roses. I should have attacked the ugly thorn bushes with the wheelbarrow instead.
Tuesday, 20 November 2007
The Diaries of Sir Robert the Violent: Volume I
As told by Sir Robert
14 Virtul 1832
Woke up this morning and went straight to the mirror to remind myself how incredibly handsome I am. My squire Mazzy Fentan should be back from the polishers' with my sparkling new helmet. As Uncle Oswald used to say, "protect thy assets, laddie, protect thy assets" - although he could have been referring to my jock strap, along with the fact that he cannot have children. Regardless, my face is my fortune, and I shall endeavour to do my utmost to keep it pure and dashing. My how the courtesans will swoon.
16 Virtul 1832
Mazzy has not yet returned with my shiny new helmet. I swear! All those talks about equal gender rights must be getting to that prawn-sized head of hers. Speaking of heads, mine is still unprotected!!! The King has been questioning my lack of valour in the recent battles; but isn't discretion the better part of valour? Besides, I doubt I could bear to face anyone should my beautiful sculpted features get marred while fighting some ugly turd. It's simply not worth the hassle.
17 Virtul 1832
Mazzy has finally returned with my helmet. She accredited her tardiness to 'that time of the month again'. As if! You've got to wonder what these scheming women are up to; always complaining about 'that time of the month' when nothing apparent seems to be happening. If you ask me, it's just another one of their feeble excuses to get off a decent day's work. Our King has recently commissioned me to slay the dragon that has been plaguing our lands. What does he take me for? As if it's my bloody job! If he'd wanted that damn thing killed, he might as well have hired some nasty brigands to do his menial work for him. I'm a knight for crying out loud; dragonslaying is NOT in my bloody department.
18 Virtul 1832
Letting the King know how I felt was the smartest thing I've ever done. In fact, I'm still smarting. Now that I cannot evade this daunting task, I shall do what all knights brave and chivalrous do best, and have this task delegated to Mazzy first thing tomorrow morning.
19 Virtul 1832
Mazzy has responded positively to my demands. I've never seen her so excited before. Because of my lack of education, I have some difficulties in fathoming what she had meant when she said, "up yours!". She was probably paying me a compliment for my noble actions. I must remember to use "up yours!" in tonight's Grand Gala Ball to show the dignitaries how learned and civilised a knight I am. Speaking of Balls, I've been to many Balls in my life, and I daresay the King's Balls are by far the biggest and best.
20 Virtul 1832
The Ball was not as I had hoped it would turn out to be. The people there were most impolite towards me. It really doesn't pay to be courteous. I would like to go speak with our King and demand an explanation for their incomprehensible hostility; but I cannot, by token of the fact that I now languish in prison. Apparently the King doesn't like to be complimented either.
21 Virtul 1832
Still in prison. Played cards with the rats today.
22 Virtul 1832
Still in prison. Played cards with the rats today.
23 Virtul 1832
Still in prison. Played cards with the rats today.
24 Virtul 1832
Still in prison. Played cards with the rats today.
25 Virtul 1832
Still in prison. Played cards with the rats today.
1 Atraie 1832
Still in prison. Played cards with the rats today.
2 Atraie 1832
I think the rats are cheating!
14 Virtul 1832
Woke up this morning and went straight to the mirror to remind myself how incredibly handsome I am. My squire Mazzy Fentan should be back from the polishers' with my sparkling new helmet. As Uncle Oswald used to say, "protect thy assets, laddie, protect thy assets" - although he could have been referring to my jock strap, along with the fact that he cannot have children. Regardless, my face is my fortune, and I shall endeavour to do my utmost to keep it pure and dashing. My how the courtesans will swoon.
16 Virtul 1832
Mazzy has not yet returned with my shiny new helmet. I swear! All those talks about equal gender rights must be getting to that prawn-sized head of hers. Speaking of heads, mine is still unprotected!!! The King has been questioning my lack of valour in the recent battles; but isn't discretion the better part of valour? Besides, I doubt I could bear to face anyone should my beautiful sculpted features get marred while fighting some ugly turd. It's simply not worth the hassle.
17 Virtul 1832
Mazzy has finally returned with my helmet. She accredited her tardiness to 'that time of the month again'. As if! You've got to wonder what these scheming women are up to; always complaining about 'that time of the month' when nothing apparent seems to be happening. If you ask me, it's just another one of their feeble excuses to get off a decent day's work. Our King has recently commissioned me to slay the dragon that has been plaguing our lands. What does he take me for? As if it's my bloody job! If he'd wanted that damn thing killed, he might as well have hired some nasty brigands to do his menial work for him. I'm a knight for crying out loud; dragonslaying is NOT in my bloody department.
18 Virtul 1832
Letting the King know how I felt was the smartest thing I've ever done. In fact, I'm still smarting. Now that I cannot evade this daunting task, I shall do what all knights brave and chivalrous do best, and have this task delegated to Mazzy first thing tomorrow morning.
19 Virtul 1832
Mazzy has responded positively to my demands. I've never seen her so excited before. Because of my lack of education, I have some difficulties in fathoming what she had meant when she said, "up yours!". She was probably paying me a compliment for my noble actions. I must remember to use "up yours!" in tonight's Grand Gala Ball to show the dignitaries how learned and civilised a knight I am. Speaking of Balls, I've been to many Balls in my life, and I daresay the King's Balls are by far the biggest and best.
20 Virtul 1832
The Ball was not as I had hoped it would turn out to be. The people there were most impolite towards me. It really doesn't pay to be courteous. I would like to go speak with our King and demand an explanation for their incomprehensible hostility; but I cannot, by token of the fact that I now languish in prison. Apparently the King doesn't like to be complimented either.
21 Virtul 1832
Still in prison. Played cards with the rats today.
22 Virtul 1832
Still in prison. Played cards with the rats today.
23 Virtul 1832
Still in prison. Played cards with the rats today.
24 Virtul 1832
Still in prison. Played cards with the rats today.
25 Virtul 1832
Still in prison. Played cards with the rats today.
1 Atraie 1832
Still in prison. Played cards with the rats today.
2 Atraie 1832
I think the rats are cheating!
Friday, 16 November 2007
The Diaries of Sir Robert the Violent: Complete Compendium
Here are the complete entries of Sir Robert's diary thus far:
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol I
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol II
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol III
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol IV
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol V
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol VI
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol VII
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol I
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol II
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol III
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol IV
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol V
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol VI
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol VII
Thursday, 15 November 2007
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Complete Compendium
Here are the complete entries of Princess Juliana's diary thus far:
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol I
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol II
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol III
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol IV
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol V
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol VI
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol VII
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol VIII
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol I
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol II
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol III
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol IV
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol V
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol VI
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol VII
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol VIII
Volryon's Pendulum
Of the great historians of Dargenvale, none have been quite so accomplished as the astronomer-sorceress Lady Eliza Volryon. Before Dargenvale was even born, Lady Volryon had already devised the Volryonesque Calender based on the alignments of the stars, and subsequent events just seemed to slide effortlessly to fit into its mould. Till today there is no substitute or alternative for the Volryonesque Calender; such was the faith that people had in its accuracy. Well it was either that, or the buggers were just too darn lazy to figure out another one.
Centuries after her passing, there where whispers that Lady Volryon possessed a relic of immeasurable power: Volryon's Pendulum. With it, they say, one can bend and warp the time of Dargenvale at will. But of course that's just hearsay.
Or is it...
The Pendulum swings to:
Virtul 1832
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol I
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol I
Atraie 1832
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol II
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol II
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol III
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol III
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol IV
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol IV
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol V
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol VI
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol V
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol VI
Loares 1832
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol VII
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol VIII
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol VII
Centuries after her passing, there where whispers that Lady Volryon possessed a relic of immeasurable power: Volryon's Pendulum. With it, they say, one can bend and warp the time of Dargenvale at will. But of course that's just hearsay.
Or is it...
The Pendulum swings to:
Virtul 1832
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol I
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol I
Atraie 1832
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol II
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol II
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol III
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol III
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol IV
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol IV
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol V
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol VI
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol V
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol VI
Loares 1832
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol VII
The Diaries of Princess Juliana: Vol VIII
The Diaries of Sir Robert: Vol VII
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